ASSTR BDSM

My daily schedule is pretty simple. I wake up, watch porn, eat, watch porn, eat, watch porn, eat, watch porn, and go to bed to start it all over again the next day. As far as I can tell, I live in paradise. While most people think of paradise as hanging out on an island beach while sipping cute mixed drinks poured into a coconut half and garnished with a small umbrella, I see it as a dark room with a powerful computer, large monitor, and fast internet connection. Oh, don't forget the lube. You can't forget the lube.

There isn't much room for variation in that schedule, but sometimes I need a break. It would seem my entire life is a break, but that's not true. It can be hard watching so much porn all the time. The brain didn't evolve to handle so much over-stimulation. Sometimes it completely shuts down and can bear no more input.

The problem is that, much like the CEO of a fortune five hundred company, I never want to stop working. So I'm always on the job. That means I need to manage the limits of my brain so that I never completely shut down.

My relaxing isn't everyone's version of relaxing either. I might need to take a break from watching porn, but that doesn't mean I need a break from smut in general. It just means I have to change up the input. This usually leads me to read erotic literature on websites such as The Kristen Archives.

If you have never spent time reading porn, you are missing out on a whole new vector of smut. I'm always ready to find new ways of shoving porn down my own throat.

The Federal Whorserve

After years and years of constant porn watching, and not to mention actual fucking, my spank bank has become the Federal Reserve. I've got the fucking spank, Fort Knox, in my brain. The shit rolling around my imagination would make lesser men vomit, cum, and faint.

My problem isn't a lack of spank bank. It's having way too full of a spank bank. It's hard to choose any one memory to recall. That's why I like to stir the pot with written smut. It brings memories to the service that may have otherwise been lost in the litany of debauchery that litters my frontal lobe.

The stories on The Kristen Archives lead me through a guided meditation that uncovers and highlights my brain's best-of list. To quote The Joker, "As you know, madness is like gravity. All it takes is one little push."

The Kristen Archives provides more than a little push. It picks me up and launches me into a depraved world of violence and sex. What better way to spend a relaxing Sunday?

The Kristen Archives website couldn't be simpler lest the place ceases to be a website. There's no main menu, just a small selection of sister sites from the Kristen Archive collective. This includes Twistedmonk, a website similar to Kristen Archives that catalogs twisted sexual literature. The featured story right now is titled "A Nazi Riding a Rather Well Hung T-Rex." What the fuck? Who even comes up with this shit?

The bondage blog is another site in the network. It also has a library of erotic literature, but unlike the Kristen Archives and Twistedmonk, it includes pictures, illustrations, and gifs along with the story. The featured title right now is "Creepy Bondage Initiation."

The last two sites in the network are Sadomasokitten and BDSM Community. Both require memberships to get inside. So if BDSM is your main squeeze, you should consider joining.

Outside of a link to donate hiding way down at the bottom, the only other thing on the site is a giant list of available content. The Kristen Archives are free to access, so I encourage you to toss them a few bucks if you enjoy the service. I know that you're unemployed and technically homeless since your mom doesn't require you to sign a lease, but if you can afford all that pizza delivery, you can afford to donate a couple of dollars.

From Port to Port

At this point, there's literally nothing else to talk about except the content, so let's dive right in. "A1 Ships Slave" is a fucked up story written by popular Kristen Archive contributor Cerberus. It follows the life of a young woman from a British port who is taken under the order of the government to serve as "entertainment" for the sailors. Those Brits are a friendly bunch.

Of course, "entertainment" for the sailors only means one thing: fucking the shit out of her. She's repeatedly tortured, raped, humiliated, and abused. Eventually, she becomes pregnant but don't you dare assume that stops the beatings and rape. In fact, it only increases them.

While this is a fictional account, I think it's safe to say this type of shit used to happen all the time. The problem was that sailors didn't have any porn, so they needed to bring the real thing along with them. It was that, or they'd start blowing each other. I don't know if you have ever wrapped your mouth around a dirty sailor's cock, but if so, you know it's not the most pleasant activity one can perform. It's best left done by slaves, hookers, and mermaids.

There's a shit ton of slave content in the Kristen Archives, so if that's your thing, you will fall in love with the place. "A Persian Princess falls" is another fine example of slave erotica you can find here.

It's the story of a Persian bitch living in Germany who becomes involved with a neo-nazi. Unfortunately for her, this neo-nazi is skilled in the art of mind control. At first, they date for a while, but eventually, his rampant fascism turns her away.

When she refuses to let the nazi move in with her after he's evicted from his apartment, he takes revenge by forcing her to become his sex slave.

No one gets their hands on a fuck slave and has gentle missionary position sex with them. You get a sex slave because you want to do things to a bitch that no one in their right mind would say yes to, and this nazi is no different.

He uses every single orifice she has. I'm surprised he didn't get a scalpel and forceps to attempt building a brand new one. By the end of this story, I can't even imagine what her asshole must look like. It's got to be wide enough to fit a Buick LeSabre in.

Pussy Worship

I had to click on "A Taste for Pussy" by Deborah, the Cowgirl because that's the working title of my memoirs. Deborah's favorite thing in the whole wide world is her own pussy. She describes it as the source of all her pleasure and power. It brings her to peaks higher than any other form of stimulation, and it controls men like a remote. They are at her every beck and call.

She often forces men to spend hours worshipping her pussy. She demands that it be the center of their universe. And while all this power is fun, she eventually grows bored. Like a cat playing with a dead mouse, sometimes one must find something alive again to renew the zeal.

To that end, Deborah decides to try her hand at other pussies. Can she pleasure another woman's pussy as well as she does her own? Can she exercise the same ultimate control she has over men, over women? Fortunately for us, there's only one way to answer that question: go fuck some pussy.

Deborah does just that, and through the use of oral, BDSM, and drugs, she's able to make bitches her slaves just as easily as anyone else. Deborah wouldn't even have to try with me. I'll volunteer to be her slave before she even gets a chance to introduce herself. I'm trying to live in her pussy.

Kristen has herself a superb collection of erotic literature that could give anyone a boner, even the illiterate. The selection of slave stories will keep any slave master satisfied. I prefer to be the enslaver. There are many things I would rather be than a young girl hanging around a British port or the ex-girlfriend of a mind-controlling neo-nazi.

While I enjoy the extreme simplicity of The Kristen Archives, it wouldn't hurt to add a menu. There are so many wonderful stories here that I want to be able to search through them using tags or categories.

Whether you long to be the master or the slave, you will find all the content you need here in The Kristen Archives.