DarkWanderer

Dark Wanderer! Perhaps the most shocking fact about The PornDude is that I’m capable of writing. If I were a ghost spying on me, I would assume I was a dropout who barely knew how to speak, let alone write.

Fortunately for me, it’s not true. I can put pen to paper, but I’m not fucking Shakespear. So don’t expect me to write the next great novel. I have just enough English skills to write these reviews and nothing more. How could I? Not every second of my day is spent writing reviews but doing “research” for them. And by that, I mean I spend all my time jerking off to porn.

Sometimes you need a break when your whole life, including your employment, revolves around porn. And when I say break, I don’t mean I want to waste time crocheting can koozies or creating roadkill taxidermy. On the contrary, I want to consume porn in a format that doesn’t involve videos or images.

It’s those times that I turn to erotic literature. And to be honest with you, if it weren’t for erotic literature, I would be the guy I described earlier. I never paid attention in class, but when I discovered I could read porn, suddenly, English class became a lot more important. Erotic literature made me the man I am today, for better or worse.

Some of you guys might not ever need porn breaks, but when you have seen the shit I have seen, breaks are a requirement. If I didn’t pause for an hour or two every few months, my tolerance for horrible images would skyrocket. I’d have to jerk off to pictures of mass graves and plane crash injuries.

Only a select few of you can imagine the horrors I have witnessed. Imagine vaginas turned inside out by masonry tools. Penises atomized by vice grips and paper shredders. Anuses gaped so wide they are used as a mortar and pestle to grind up tea leaves. This is shit you can never wipe away from your memory. They will forever be imprinted on my mental hard drives.

Fleshlight? More like Fleshheavy

I once watched a man fill a cheesecloth sock with pine needles and rose thorns to use as a fleshlight. When he removed his cock, it looked like a rod of partially unthawed ground beef. Shockingly enough, he never made a sound during the whole incident.

Have you motherfuckers ever heard of sounding? I bet a couple of you perverts have, but hopefully, most of you are in the dark. Sounding is the act of sticking a rod down your dick hole. It sounds like a nightmare I never want to have if you ask me. However, for many, it’s a Friday night well spent.

Generally, men who enjoy sounding use stainless steel rods that look like surgical implements. But a proud few of those gents graduate to more extreme tools. I’ve seen way too many objects make their way into a urethra over the years. I’m talking about electrical cords, pens, pencils, fruits and vegetables, fingers, toes, toothpicks, toothbrushes, glowsticks, and rolled-up currency. We men are fucking bat shit crazy.

When you have a hard drive full of such depravity, sometimes you just want to sit down, put your feet up, and read an erotic story. Well, when the mood strikes, I often head to Darkwanderer. Considering the wild fetish content that makes its way here, such an ominous name is fitting.

Darkwanderer was created back in 1996 when internet porn was hard to come by. Even when you did find it, it could take hours to load one picture. Reading porn was a lot easier and didn’t require a visit to the local truck stop porn shop.

Darkwanderer has a varied selection of smut, but their primary focus is on slutty wives, interracial banging, and cuckolding stories. Slut wife stories are about whores that search for extramarital pleasures with neighbors, coworkers, and strangers. Many entries on the site include all three.

I’m not sure what it’s about white American men, but they love to watch their wives be fucked to pieces by black men with huge cocks. I’m willing to bet Sigmond Freud would have some interesting thoughts on the subject.

I love the website design on Darkwanderer. It’s easy to follow and stays out of the way. The main menu is situated on top and contains the options Home, Search bar, Forums, Live cuckold sex, Media, Stories, Members, login, and Register. “Live cuckold sex” is a link to a different live streaming site.

Before getting too far, Darkwanderer has some suggestions to help users get the most out of the website. First, use bookmarks. When you find a story or series that you fall in love with, use Darkwanderer’s bookmarking feature to ensure you never lose it. Click on the bookmark tab in the upper right-hand corner of every story screen.

Second, use the notifications. If you are reading an unfinished story that the author is still adding to, you can stick it to your watch list, so you receive a notification when the author posts another chapter. That way, you and your penis never fall behind. I would hate for you to miss out on a slutty wife or sweaty interracial gang bang.

You can also follow an author in the same vein as the notifications. There are so many talented motherfuckers on Darkwanderer that it can be hard to keep track of them all, but don’t worry. You don’t have to keep track of them when Darkwanderer does it for you.

While reading a story, click on the author’s name to bring up his profile card. Here you can check out some basic info about the person and follow them, so you never miss a new release. In my opinion, some of these bastards deserve to be on the New York Times bestseller list.

Finally, don’t forget about the site filters. The filter tool on Darkwanderer is extremely powerful. It’s ideally crafted to help you find the best stories for your mood. There are many different ways to filter through content, including comments, ratings, keywords, and the number of views.

Speaking of views, the stats on Darkwanderer are pretty impressive. There are just under ten thousand stories that have garnered thirty-eight million views in total.

Let’s check out why so many people read these stories. “Your Wife Wants to Wear a See-through Dress” is a classic story that represents the site as a whole.

Picture getting ready for a Friday night at the bar with your wife when she walks into the living room wearing a tiny mini skirt and see-through top. But wait, before you do that, picture your wife isn’t an ugly wildebeest. Imagine her as a sexy, big tittied vixen with sex on her mind. I’ll give you a second because I know that isn’t easy to imagine.

Got it? Good. You tell your wife, “I thought we were going out tonight, but that’s fine with me if you want to stay in.” She replies that she still wants to hit the town but plans on dressing like a whore. She misses the attention she used to get from men in her youth. You stare at her fat round titties. It would be hard to say no to any requests she made right now. To find out what happens next, you’ll have to read it yourself.

Nurse Ratchet Hoe

“Sarah’s stories” are one of my favorite series on Darkwanderer. She’s the wife of another popular author on the site named Ted’s Tales. She wanted to join in on the fun, and I’m glad she did.

Sarah is a nurse, and she’s the nurse we have all dreamed of having. Her first story details the time she sucked off an old widower at a nursing home she was training at. Could you imagine being that guy? He deserves a fucking reward. So many old men try to pull off the nursing home employee blow job, but it seldom works.

It’s not even like this guy tried particularly hard. He just kept making lude comments about her body until she felt bad enough for him that her mouth fell open. God bless her.

Darkwanderer is packed with erotic stories such as these that will turn your penis into a brick water fountain of cum. I suddenly can’t wait to move into a nursing home. The design is fantastic, as is the story selection and lack of annoying ads.

My only complaint about the place is that I want them to hang around and keep adding stories. Seventy-five hundred entries are a good collection, but I want to see seventy-five thousand.

Your wife is an ugly cunt of a woman, so why not take a break from listening to her complain and read a couple of stories on Darkwanderer?