JOIP

Strap yourselves in; this is going to be a wild ride. I was a bit hesitant to include JOIP on this site because it’s very slightly reminiscent of a porn game. You get to traverse through a fictional scenario by pressing a button. I was willing to overlook this because there’s only ever one button you can press to move the action forward. You don’t have any choices in-between all the action. You experience a narrative that just keeps moving forward. This does disqualify JOIP as a video game, but it also means that the average hentai novel gets disqualified too. I’m ok with it. Hentai novels are basically slideshows. At least JOIP isn’t trying to pretend it’s something it isn’t. This is the most innovative image slideshow site I’ve ever reviewed.

It's very clear that JOIP doesn’t offer any more fap-worthy images than the average image porn site. You’ll have a significantly better time fapping on Reddit, with better resolutions and clearer images. But visual quality isn’t meant to be the appeal of this site. Someone behind the scenes is working hard to provide you with a unique fapping experience, using publicly available images of hot babes, most of whom are recognizable celebrities. The point of JOIP is that you get a jerk-off instruction experience complete with a story and a ton of conversation between the girl on screen and yourself. And sure, watching standard JOI videos is truer to life than this, but bear with me, because I think that this site has struck a gold mine or at the very least invented one.

Play Pretend with Twitch Streamers

There are countless celebrities out there who have perfect faces and even more perfect bodies, but alas, they have decided not to make any kind of pornography. It’s really hard to fap to these bitches because they rarely take their clothes off. On the front page I’m seeing two very recognizable chicks. Pokimane and Valkyrae. They’re both babe streamers who play video games, in case you haven’t heard the names. I know that everyone and their grandmother wants to bang Pokimane for some reason. Personally, I don’t see it. She’s a twig and 90% of her face is just make-up. On the other hand, Valkyrae is the epitome of the perfect woman. She’s short, she’s hot, she’s funny and she plays video games. Oh, and she’s got the body of a sex goddess.

Thanks to JOIP you can indulge in a temporary fantasy of jerk-off instructions coming at you from the queens themselves. You basically get to watch images of them, slide by slide, as lines of dialogue, or should I say monologue, are delivered to you on screen in textual form. The person or people behind JOIP work hard to create fictional scenarios that you can enjoy along with the images that they put into these slides by hand. They’ve basically crafted a fictional scenario for you to live through and it’s all extremely fap-worthy. I also have to give them props for finding hot or at the very least attractive photos of the babes in question, when said babes go out of their way to hide their bodies. Deepfakes might be immoral, but using perfectly normal pictures of babes in order to fap, well, that’s free game.

Crowdfunded Fantasies

Speaking of free, this entire site is completely free to browse. They run a couple of ads in order to cover some of their bills, but the site itself doesn’t eat up a lot of bandwidth, so they can stay afloat for pretty cheap. If they were using videos instead of images, this would probably have been impossible. They also have a Patreon that they proudly list on their site, but I checked it out and it’s not looking good. They’re currently making $4 a month in donations. That’s not enough cash for cum tissues let alone maintaining an entire porn website. I’m not going to try to sell you on the idea of signing up for a subscription to their Patreon. That’s on you. I just found it a nice surprise, seeing that this site is entirely upheld by the community.

As a community supported site, this place is catered to you, the fapper. Yes, there does seem to be a single person behind the whole thing, writing all the stories, but he’s doing a fantastic job. He also makes sure to write from the perspective of an actual human, so the instructions come across as actual messages you might receive from a bitch over the internet. It’s all very believable and easy to get through. There’s not much to worry about in terms of immersion here. This dude, whoever he is, really seems to care about the community that’s keeping this site afloat.

Jacking, Moaning and Even Swallowing

In each of these short episodes, the girls take you for a real solo fap adventure. There’s not too much a man can do to himself alone, but they make sure to squeeze as much potential out of you as possible. Naturally, they give you stroking instructions with very specific requests like how long you should jerk for and at exactly which speed. Whenever they say any kind of time frame like 30 seconds or whatever, those words become a button. The site has this as a built-in feature. So, if a babe tells you to stroke for 30 seconds, you can press that part of the text and get a countdown timer. That way you can fap to the timer and you don’t have to count down in your head. This is … unnecessary as fuck, but it’s a welcome addition to the already exciting JOI play.

You can expect to get really depraved if you genuinely fap to these girls’ instructions. They’re pretty damn ruthless. I’m sensing strong dom-bitch vibes from most of the girls on here. They seem to enjoy putting you down and calling you a bitch. Works for me. Jerk-off instructions are already a staple of submissive male sexual escapades. We might as well crank this shit up to 11. So, the girls will have you jack off, edge, count your strokes, moan, get naked, spank yourself and even shove dildos up your ass. What a time to be alive! There’s even a decent spread of cum eating instructions towards the end of most of these stories, though you can feel free to skip those if they’re not your thing.

There’s More Than Meets the Eye

You know how most porn sites try hard to trick you into believing they have more content than they’re showing? Yeah, for some reason JOIP are doing the exact fucking opposite. At first glance I thought they were here to peddle a good couple dozen stories. I thought they were just getting started. Leave it to me to miss the goddamn “next page” button on the bottom of the screen. Look, it’s not my fault; the damn thing is damn near impossible to see on account of the site proportions and the color choices. Never mind. The point is, this place is fucking loaded with stories. There are more stories here than you could ever possibly ask for and most of them do indeed feature jerk-off instructions.

I was glad to find a large collection of smut stories that were made by someone other than the site owner. I didn’t realize at first that this site allowed users to upload their own stories. To even see the login, signup and upload buttons you have to find the elusive-ass hamburger button on the bottom right of the screen. It opens up a menu that lets you dive into the site as a contributor.

So, in short, JOIP looks like it’s led by one guy who’s made a handful of stories, but it’s actually a user-driven site that’s loaded with third-party stories and you’re free to upload too. Their design seems to be intentionally fucked up in ways that hide these facts. I am beyond confused as to why they don’t renovate this place to show off more stories at a time and point out that they were user-made.

Original Faps

JOIP is far from the hottest porn site on the planet, but this smut is extremely original and for that it gets my props. I like the idea of masturbating to forms of porn that I’ve never experienced before. Plus, jerk off instructions work really well within this format. You never know what you’re going to see next.

Some of the content features celebrities that have never gotten naked, the rest of it makes heavy use of actual pornstars in certain environments that really sell you on the story. So, by all means, try going on an imaginary jerk-off ride with these babes and experience what it’s like to be told what to do by a fucking text box.