Eporner Police

There’s nothing quite like a little police brutality in your porn. Whether it’s the long dick of the law fucking their captive audience or some hotty with a nightstick getting deep-dicked by her own prisoner, there’s something infinitely horny about throwing a police uniform (or two, even) into proceedings.

The internet’s got you covered for every dark, dirty fantasy you might have, and police porn is no exception. One place that’s particularly good for it is eporner.com.

History Of Eporner.com

Eporner has been around since 2008, so it’s got a pedigree. They started out pretty small, but since then, they’ve built quite the collection – 3.6 million videos, or thereabouts. You can’t argue with that kind of back catalog!

When it comes to COPulation (see what I did there?), they don’t skimp, either. They’ve built up over 10,000 videos of cops fucking or getting fucked (though I can’t vouch for the authenticity of the 5-0 appearing in these vids, gents).

Design Of The Site

You’ve been to one porn tube site; you’ve been to them all. Eporner isn’t trying to break the mold or reinvent the wheel or any of that fancy shit – it’s just trying to get you to watch some porn. And it does an admirable job of that, with a straightforward interface that you’ll recognize from every tube site ever.

Down the left-hand side, you’ve got your categories. They work like any category on any porn site you’ve ever been on – but they do have one function that you won’t necessarily get anywhere else.

This is stacking filters, which allow you to narrow your search for whatever porn you want quickly and easily. Want blonde 4K ultra HD big dick bukkake? You got it. Just apply those filters, and you’ll soon be watching some blonde slut getting jizzed on by eight cocks at the same time in ultra-high def, my bukkake-loving friend.

When you search a particular phrase (like ‘police’), it will also spit out a bunch of options faster than that blonde spits out mixed cum. “MILF cop”, “fake police officer”, “female police officer”, and “black police officer” were all options that I saw in the sidebar, and they all had a good bunch of options. The world really is your oyster when you’re looking for the thin blue line getting stretched out.

When searching for particular results (as in the police one), you also have several filters. Wanna see the top-rated police porn vid? Not an issue. In the mood for a four-hour-long wankathon? Filter by “longest”. Can’t go for more than 30 seconds? “Shortest” is your friend.

The preview panes are pretty informative, too. In addition to the standard video preview you get when you hover over a thumbnail, you get the duration of the whole video, and the rating displayed. This helps you decide whether or not Zirael Rem sucking off some dude in a cop suit is for you without having to click through.

Content Of The Site

Eporner.com has a pretty banging collection. It’s not quite up there with the big boys over at PornHub or Xvideos, but it’s certainly got a decent collection of videos (as mentioned, around 3.6 million). They’ve got your standard array of categories – MILFs, trans, big dick, BBW, etc.

Eporner has a great selection of HD videos, and even plenty of 4K 2180p videos. Even if it’s an SD video, it’s very clearly labeled so you know what you’re getting into ahead of time. There are no scuzzy tricks or traps on the website – what you see is what you get.

Eporner.com even has a 60 FPS section, for those who are really into their framerates and all that shit (I don’t particularly care; I’m here to jerk it, not to slaver over high framerates).

When it comes the police vids, you can’t really go wrong. There are 110,000 of them, and they’re super easy and straightforward to filter and search. There’s plenty of ammo here for the ACAS (All Cops Are Sluts) movement.

Another awesome function of Eporner.com is its ‘scene selection’ function. Located just below the video, there’s an option to replace the recommended videos with scenes from the video you’re watching.

This makes it quick and easy to jump to the parts of the video that do it for you without constant back-and-forth scrubbing.

Desktop/Mobile Experience

On desktop, you can’t really complain about the vast majority of the Eporner.com experience. It’s set out like any other porn tube site but with a few extra bells and whistles that streamline the experience nicely.

When you click through to a video, the lack of ad interference (whether through banners or sidebars) is nice. There is a single ad to the right of the video, and that’s it. There are brief video ads before some videos, and there is usually an ad if you pause, though. It can get pretty annoying if you’re trying to check out multiple videos in quick succession.

On mobile, it’s a little more annoying, unfortunately. You quite often have to scroll past ads to get to the video, and if you’re anything like me when you’re in a porn-fuelled rampage, it’s easy to click on those fuckers and end up opening a bunch of extra windows. All of this simply pisses me off and makes me more likely to just fuck off to XVideos.

Another black mark against the mobile experience is the lack of the desktop version’s stacking filters. It’s such a good addition to the desktop experience that the lack of it on the mobile site is pretty glaring.

What I Like About The Site

There’s a lot to love about Eporner.com. It’s got a clean interface and some neat ideas that make the site run more smoothly as a whole. The stacking filters are a great idea that makes finding your niche quick and painless. Suggested searches and display options are just the icing on the cake.

The site’s selection of videos is decent, too. You can’t argue with 3.6 million videos, and even for something as niche as watching proverbial pigs get fucked, it’s got you covered with 110,000 videos. It’s not hard to find what you want on Eporner.com.

Something I haven’t mentioned that is definitely pretty nifty about Eporner.com is the fact that you can download a lot of videos – and you can do so for free. This is not something you see very often as a free option on a porn site, and it’s another string to Eporner.com’s bow.

What I Don’t Like About The Site

Ads are inevitable on free porn sites; that’s just the way of the world. That said, there are ways and means of handling them.

Eporner.com does a decent job overall, but they can be pretty annoying at times. This is definitely the case on mobile, where one slip means getting taken through to some affiliate site I don’t wanna be on.

These are often pop-under ads, too, so you might not realize that some porn ad has been sitting open on your phone until you’re connecting to your car’s Bluetooth with the kids in the back or, more fittingly, when a cop pulls you over for a DUI again. Definitely not an experience you wanna go through.

It’s a minor nitpick, too, but every vid starts muted. It’s a matter of seconds to unmute it, but it’s busy work I don’t need. If I’m trying to keep things on the down-low, trust me – I’ve already lowered the volume or muted it.

Suggestions I Have For The Site

The biggest one I have is this: fix that mobile experience! The desktop site has some great features that just don’t appear on the mobile one, making it a little fiddler and more annoying to use. The ad situation on the mobile site just makes this worse, and I’ll just end up jumping ship for something more reliable rather than try to stick it out on mobile. I can desktop all day long, but that mobile shit needs fixing.

Conclusion

Eporner.com is a decent website with some innovative ideas (and a great police porn collection, that’s for damn sure). To make that leap to greatness, though, I just feel like they need to fix a few things.

The ad situation is definitely not the worst I’ve ever seen, but nobody likes ads, and absolutely nobody likes pop-under ads, so I think Eporner.com needs to look at these if they’re going to build user trust up a little more.

That said, you can’t argue with the speed and quality of their videos or the versatility of their search filters (at least on desktop). Not the worst porn site in the world, but definitely room for improvement.