Dirty Clinic

DirtyClinic.com is the kind of site that, after I visit, I actually want to experience in real life. Like with Brazzers. Every time I watch Brazzers' video, I want to go to the local store and fuck a hot bitch in an aisle. If I find a busty babe who just got her hand stuck in the refrigerator as she was reaching for the ice, the better! Dirtyclinic.com is a paysite that sports medical porn. Medical, as in, every scene takes place in a hospital setting, and they are using medical utensils. Do I sound British enough? Read that word again. Utensils. Heh, that sounds so damn cool, utensils... Oh, right, Dirtyclinic.com. Yeah, it's all about getting fucked in a hospital. Let's go. 

I needed to see the doctor regarding my pent up frustrations

There are a couple of very frustrating things that I want to point out right at the top. TPD just woke up a bit hung over and last night wasn't very "fruitful" to the little fella, if you know what I mean, so I might end up doing this review in a very grumpy asshole kind of a way. We shall see. Still, regardless of my present state of mind, Dirtyclinic.com needs to handle some of the little things. Let's get into it. They have to handle the fact that there is absolutely no free shit on their site! Appalling! I know. In side news, I wanted free sex last night. It didn't happen like that. TPD didn't get free shit, so now, someone's gonna pay...

Every time I clicked on the thumbnails of the "movies," it went to nowhere land. The land of pissed-off, and I'm the only one living in that country. Fokin' aey! Listen, you have to have a destination for a fucked up button. Those are the rules of common sense! Even if it takes you to a 404 page or some shit. Not like this. It took me like 5 clicks before I realized that it's constantly bringing me back to the home page, and the freaking Home button already has elements of their "Movies" page on it. It was like I was living in Groundhogs day, and the same thing was happening over and over again. At this point, I realized that I had some backed-up fluids that I needed to release, so I clicked on the videos to get some dirty clinic treatment, as we Brits like to say.

The videos with medical staff getting boinked will get your balls fired up

Well, when I say dirty and when I say clinic, I tend to think that it is the kind of clinic where you come to save up money and check that itch that you've been having above your penis that's been bothering you since you had that "fling" with that woman one time in Thailand that you still swear was feminine enough, and didn't have Adam's apple... But, since it is a dirty clinic, you end up getting your dick accidentally nicked by the doc who is actually not a doctor but an immigrant from Bangladesh who just poses as one and is pretending to have a clue about your rash. Just put an ointment on that bugger chap. You'll be fine. Yup, these things happen every day to people, especially to ladies who go for breast implants. I saw it on a BBC documentary this one time. The horrors...

The nurses and the medical workers in DirtyClinic.com are hot as coal. I would definitely love to be treated to some of these facilities and have my balls sucked and drained by these essential workers. They are using all the shit that you see in a clinic when you go to one, but this time, it is actually sexy, not creepy, like when you come in sick and pray to God that they don't have to use some of those Lucifer's tools on you. Well, in DirtyClinic.com's videos, I'd like to see ALL those tools on my cock, straight up. TPD's a bit of a freak, or he just has blue balls right now, but it is probably both. 

The layout is intuitive and easy to browse around

Now let's get to the nerdy stuff of the site review. The layout and the whole "easy to maneuver" part of the review. Here's one tip to all you review writers out there. Whenever you don't know what to put in the review, just follow the good old "the layout is intuitive and easy to browse around" pattern. It works charms. 

DirtyClinic.com has a very simple layout and is intuitive, which makes it easy to browse around. There are only 6 buttons on the home page. Yes, you read it right, only 6. Even the home page button was on the home page! Now that's some intuitive thinking right there! NASA, don't hold your breath. There are some Teslas of creativity on DirtyClinic.com's staff. Watch yourself!

Doctor, is this medical bill going to make me broke?

What I wanted to see was how much these buggers were charging for the medical porn-type stuff. I mean, let's get one thing clear. These are not Lisa Ann type models in no shape or form. They seem amateurish compared to Lisa, but still, with the budget that they got, I'm sure they did the best they could. So, I was curious how they are financing all of this. I mean, those utensils are probably expensive to come by unless they just broke into a clinic during the night and just filmed it guerilla-style. Anyway, I was getting off track there. The subscription model is as follows.

You need to know one thing. Well, two things, actually. A rash above your cock is usually not PHP or gonorrhea. That shit, I know. Most of the time, it's a yeast infection, it can be some random skin infection from sweating, or it could be just the fact that you actually did fuck a tranny when you were in Thailand. In that case, you just need a talk with a therapist or just get pissed with your mates and admit your sins so that they could shred you to pieces and get on with your life the next day once you get sober. 

The second thing you need to know is that DirtyClinic.com can't be found even on PornHub. Correct. If you thought you would just go to a tube site and wank off for free, guess what? You won't. You need to decide if you want a 30-day, 90-day, or 180-day membership for DirtyClinic.com. I suggest you go for the whole 180, even if you are just testing the waters, as they say. For 180 days, you will pay only $89.95. For 90, $49.95, and for 30, you will pay $29.95. So that's two times cheaper. Why not go for the whole deal and watch a dude get his balls drained by a busty blonde nurse while he came in for a cock infection treatment? Just kidding, they don't have that kind of a video, but I think they should.

The doctor will see you out now and present you with the treatment options

The last thing you should know is the offer that DirtyClinic.com has besides the main course. The ExtremeMoviePass sites! Once you realize that you will be getting all these freaky sites for the price of one, your head will explode just like that guy's infected cock! They have all these freaky sites like Schoolgirl lust, whores in public, DP orgasm, and many, many more. There are about 80 friggin sites you will get access to. It is sick! Not as sick as that patient's ass on DirtyClinic.com, but still, it is sick enough. So think about it. Think about the offer these people are giving out and tell me that that's not worth it. You are a grandiose idiot if you don't think so. 

When all is said and done, you are getting an awesome deal. There is original content, there is awesome bonus content, it is affordable, and if you are a fan of this freaky medical thing, you are on Mt. Olympus, my friend. It doesn't get any better than this. So if TPD had to give a grade, I'd give them a strong 8 out of 10. DirtyClinic.com is a site worth checking out.