FapHouse Doctor

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – doctor/patient sex fantasies will never go out of style. I’ve experienced this particular sexual roleplay in my life, both with a fake doctor and a real one. Well, the real one was technically a nurse, but you get the idea. I was giving blood one time, as I often like to do, because I’m all about giving back to the people, but the nurse that was supposed to stick the needle in me wanted me to stick my needle inside of her first. And so, I did. Long before she actually extracted my blood, she moved a hefty chunk of it to my boner, then she sucked on it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that blood doesn’t come out of the penis, under normal circumstances at least. If you have blood coming out of your penis, for the love of all that is unholy, stop reading this review and go to the doctor.

Anyways, I fucked the nurse, she took my blood afterwards, it was a fantastic Tuesday. The best part of this story and the whole experience was the dynamic we had. She was in charge. She was the medical professional. Me, I was just an innocent little boy, barely a day over 25. She was younger than that, but it doesn’t matter because the uniform adds like 5 years to your age, because of the authority and what not. Suffice it to say, I got taken advantage of by a figure in power and I loved it. I wish nurses took advantage of me more often. Hell, female doctors can have a whack at me as well. I’m not picky. Touch me, test me, take my temperature. And, if you have to test me up the backdoor, warm me up with your pinky first, please.

Pervy Old Men

I made this big stink about how much I love female doctors and nurses, so naturally I have to pull a bait and switch on you and talk about crusty old man ass. Most of the doctors on FapHouse are indeed crusty old men with crusty old man balls and a gross crusty old man ass. This is sickening. I am disgusted. And yet, I am still fapping and I refuse to stop. For reasons still unknown to me, it is really hot to see beautiful young women getting it on with gross older dudes. It’s not that I like seeing older dudes, hell, it's the stuff of nightmares. But, older dudes, especially in positions of power, make for a really nice pairing to young innocent looking bitches. This is the whole idea behind most of the doctor videos on FapHouse.

Young innocent girls come into the doctor’s office, either to have their throats checked out or for an OBGYN appointment. Either way, the potential for accidental penis insertion is staggering. Who needs a tongue depressor when cocks exist, am I right? Plus, cocks can also administer a natural tonsil remedy, so they’re the perfect medical utensils. Anyways, back to the pervy old men. They’re oddly professional, towards the start of the video. They poke and prod around the girls’ various parts and holes. They check the breasts for tumors and the vaginas for … I don’t actually know what they are checking the vaginas for. Acoustics maybe? I know they put those duck-looking clamps in to get the vagina nice and wide open. If I ever happen to do that, I will not resist the urge to belt an opera tone, as well as I can, straight into the cavity. Can you imagine hearing your own voice reverberated back at you from the inside of a gaping vagina? That shit’s hilarious.

East European Medicine

I’ve noticed this trend before. Eastern Europeans make a lot of doctor porn. Like, more than anyone else does. I don’t know why. Maybe there’s some political statement in there referencing the state of their healthcare or maybe western healthcare is on the fritz. I don’t know. Either way, whenever I’m checking out doctor porn on just about any porn tube, I see a ton of Czech and Russian productions, with a bit of Ukrainian mixed in as well. Where are all of these videos coming from? Eastern Europe of course. Well, Eastern Europe ten years ago, to be exact. A lot of these videos are old as shit. I don’t blame FapHouse for this. They’re doing a great job at being thorough. It’s just natural that when you’re looking for smut within a fetish, you strike a lot of videos that are ancient. If they hit the mark, they count.

These videos very much hit the mark, especially if you’re into fucked up smut. If you like your porn videos raw, and dare I say borderline gross, then you’re going to have a fantastic time on FapHouse, checking out these make-believe doctors because they’re all severely fucked in the head. Oh sure, they act all respectable and what have you, but if you look closer, you’ll realize that none of these OBGYNs have ever seen a vagina that they haven’t also tried to penetrate. They can’t help themselves. A young woman walks in to get her pussy checked and they immediately start poking and prodding at it like it’s a fucking dashboard on a modern car and they’re desperately trying to find first gear. It also makes it kind of cute how throughout this random nonsense they pretend like they’re actually doing something medical.

There’s Germans Too!?

I don’t know why I’m making most of this review so geographical. I guess it helps me categorize the smut much easier. Certain countries follow common trends in porn, especially when a fetish is involved. The Eastern Europeans like peering awkwardly at vaginas. Americans don’t even bother. They just wear a doctor’s outfit while they stick their cock in. The Germans, well, they like things technical. True to their German nature, they must examine the female body properly and with respect and God forbid they skip a step. Oh no, they’re going to do everything, in order.

I checked out a bunch of videos from a German studio called Gyno Exclusive. Don’t let the name fool you; they don’t just do gynecological stuff. The videos I watched featured two old fat and dare I say unattractive doctors, going at one female patient. They perform all the classic moves like pretending that they’re actually worried about her health and giving her a physical, until they inevitably start poking at her holes with medical devices. What I both enjoyed and found hilarious about these videos is that all the steps that the doctors had planned for the checkups were present in every single one of their videos and they were done meticulously, one after the other. I’m talking joint checkups, a reflex test, measurements, stethoscope all-over, and all of this done long before they thought to take the girl’s temperature anally.

Naughty Nurses

There’s a good number of videos on FapHouse that feature the naughtiest nurses I’ve ever seen. They’re usually a bit on the older side, though. And, they’re usually European, again. Regardless, they get up to some wild fantasies. They treat their patients with so much disgusting sexual depravity that even I was caught off guard. Don’t get me wrong, I’m used to what I’m seeing, it’s just, I didn’t know babes could be this happy to be giving a man a rectal, you know what I mean? They’re fucking delighted. I can’t tell if these women really are nurses or if they’re just natural fits for the role. Either way, this makes for a great and refreshing fap, especially if you’ve been stuck masturbating to boring generic smut for a long time.

The idea of the naughty nurse is about as old as the concept of nursing. Give a man a female archetype and he’ll find a way to sexualize it. I regret nothing. Nurses are hot as fuck. Women putting on a nursing outfit is one of those rare occasions when a woman becomes more attractive by putting clothes on rather than taking them off. Then again, I enjoy unwrapping my own gifts, so there might be something to that.

Bottom line, FapHouse is loaded with this crap. It’s coming in from different studios that aren’t working together, from what I can tell. They’re all-over the place. A ton of them upload their smut in 4K so you have that to look forward to. Plus, since they’re all under the FapHouse umbrella they’re all available for one subscription to FapHouse. As long as you’re a member, all of these videos are yours for the fapping.