Fart Fantasy

I was very horny when I first set out to make this website of mine. I wasn’t thinking straight. I figured that reviewing fetish pornography would be very fun and would keep me hard for hours on end, because fetishes sound kinky and I love kinks. Boy was I off the mark with this one. As it turns out, the average person’s idea of a fetish is doing something that is equal parts depraved and stupid, then getting off on the shame that comes from being a fucking dumbass. Some people have really dangerous fetishes that involve knives, wives and possibly the anal insertion of chives. To those people I say, good on you. You’re sacrificing a lot for your passion.

Then, there’s the fart fetishists. Like the kids that sit in the back of the classroom, fart fetishists never get far in life. They’re the kind of people that were born strange and choose to remain strange. Oh sure, you could easily get some therapy or at the very least, you know, not breathe in someone else’s farts. But no; you woke up this morning thinking: Today, I’m going to be a fucking fart fetishist, then tomorrow I’ll do it all over again. Why did you do this? What is wrong with you? Can you be helped?

These are questions that I do not give a flying fuck about, because I’m here to feed your addiction by reviewing fart pornography. Against my better judgment, I’m going to pretend that this fetish isn’t an absolute fucking joke. Then, if it turns out this was all one elaborate ruse in order to trick me, I’ll take the L and admit defeat. Let’s get into FartFantasy, you goddamn degenerates.

Lazy White Label?

A white label is a website that seemingly stands on its own, but is actually pushing content from another website and getting paid a percentage in return. FartFantasy is kind of like that except if you took out the hard work that goes into actually making a white label site look appealing and marketable. It’s a reroute, ok? You go to FartFantasy, you end up on Clips4Sale. Granted, you end up at an appropriately fart themed destination with tons of fart videos, but my god, talk about lazy. I get that they want to cover their spread in terms of SEO, but this is stretching it a bit thin, don’t you think? Either way, I have to roll with it and cover their content as if they were a dedicated website. Don’t worry, I won’t be doubling the review or whatever. As far as you’re concerned it’s all business as usual.

There is something about the title of FartFantasy that seems to suggest that it’s a studio of some sort on Clips4Sale. That’s how it’s framed on the top of the page. Maybe I’m reading too much into it and the title is literally just a smut category, except instead of farting they wrote FartFantasy. I don’t know. I don’t care. It’s a fart fetishism section with tons of videos. And by tons, I mean fuck tons. And by fuck tons, I mean almost 500 fucking pages of results. This shit is definitely off the hook. I honestly wasn’t expecting this kind of spread. I mean, Clips4Sale has always been a fantastic site loaded with content, but you have to admit – 500 pages of farts is a lot of farts. That’s enough gas to knock out every lemur in Madagascar.

It's a Company

I did more digging! I probably should have dug further before I started writing the review, but what are you going to do? Judge me? Go ahead. I masturbate for a living. Good luck getting me to feel bad. I’m already a verified piece of shit. Anyways, as it turns out, FartFantasy is actually a studio. They’re listed as studio number 12518. You are free to take that information and shove it. It really doesn’t matter. They’re one of many studios that market their smut on Clips4Sale and they’re very smart for it. I have some words for that site, but FartFantasy themselves are doing a decent enough job. The content that they supply is very much true to the fetish, although I have several complaints in the pornstar and price department.

The whole shtick behind FartFantasy is very straightforward. They appeal to farting, face sitting and asshole fetishists, often all at the same time. They mostly do POV videos, with very nice set pieces and environments, though they reuse assets so often that countless videos on here seem identical. They’re not, they just appear that way in the thumbnails. Imagine the same bed in the same room with a different babe in an identical position as the previous one. It’s easy to get mixed up. Point is, they don’t duplicate videos, they have tons of original productions.

I Don’t Like the Business Model

A subscription to any active mainstream site usually costs between $100 and $120 per year. That’s a lot of money, but for that money you get a nearly endless supply of content for a whole year, complete with download rights. Modern sites also tend to offer 4K videos. At the very least they have HD on offer. FartFantasy are missing the mark across the board in terms of quality. First of all, most of their videos are available in 720p only. This is unacceptable. I mean, the videos themselves carry a lot of quality and all that. No complaints there. But the resolutions are subpar for current year. If I watch these videos on my TV they look like a joke. On my PC it’s less egregious but it’s still fucking noticeable. 1080p is about as low as I’d go for paid porn these days, unless it’s retro and intentionally blocky.

Regarding that price point for premium websites I mentioned, try comparing it to the average FartFantasy video. That’s right, they only allow you to pay for a single video, like pay-per-view, except it’s pay-per-download. You only get the one video. They cost around $4 each. You can buy whichever one you want. Get this, though. They’re around 3 minutes across. So, you are expected to pay $4 for a 3-minute video, but a professional site with 4K videos gives you thousands of hours of content for $30 a month complete with download rights. Excuse me? How the fuck is this place still afloat?

Not Completely Useless

FartFantasy isn’t a dead production, I’ll say that much. Firstly, these are videos that you can’t get anywhere else. Second, you can tell that they were made by someone who really knew and understood the fetish. They probably engage in it in their private life. Fetishists known fetishes best, after all. Next, there’s the observation that these videos are actually quite worthwhile if you can get past the low resolution. I mean, they’re worth owning full time, for sure. I wish they had fucking previews of the videos on the site, but how do you preview a 3-minute video without watching the whole thing? Seriously, I feel like this site is out to piss me off. Yeah, their videos have a ton of potential, but why the fuck are they so deterring with every single aspect of the site?

Then, there’s the bitches and oh dear god are they ugly. I haven’t seen a worse selection of pornstar rejects since Facial Abuse and those bitches are damn repugnant. I can already hear the feminists screaming: “All women are beautiful in their own way” at me, but see, here’s the thing. No. No they’re not. Ugly people are ugly. It’s fine. It’s not illegal. I just don’t want to fap to them, ok? I’m not evil, I just have standards. If you want me to pay money for smut, make sure it’s actually worth watching, for fuck’s sakes.

A Swing and a Miss

Fetish sites will often hire great babes and make great effort to make quality smut, but miss the mark on the fetish entirely. FartFantasy is the exact opposite. Everything about them sucks ass except for the actual fetish which they excel at. These farting videos are spot on. They’re loaded with gas and ready to explode. However, the bitches are ugly, the videos are repetitive and every single clip is roughly three minutes long, but costs more than a fucking burrito. Fuck that noise. Go buy some food with that money instead.

I wish I could find more silver linings to talk about regarding FartFantasy, but the truth is, the only reason I even considered them for a review in the first place is because they do quality work within the fetish. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have even bothered. It really is that hard to fap to this smut. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s the truth. Here, I’ll at least try to end on a high note. To test this content for yourself you only really have to pay $4. At least there’s that.