FirstBGG

It will come as no shock to my readers that I love fucking pussy. It's one of the few things that I enjoy more than masturbating. I know you guys can't empathize, but the feeling of a tight pussy sliding up and down on your cock is incredible. There's nothing like it. I only wish you could experience the joy I feel every day, just once.

Better Than Pussy?

But hold on one god damn minute. Believe it or not, there is something I love even more than fucking pussy: fucking two pussies at once. If you thought one vagina feels good, wait until you fuck two simultaneously. 

I say that as if the only reason you've never had a threesome is that you hadn't thought of it before. We all know the real reason you haven't had a threesome. It's because you haven't had a twosome. The best you can ever hope to pull off is a onesome. (And yes. "Pull off" was a pun)

I still remember the first time I fucked two cunts at once. I was still in high school and had been working my way through the cheerleader squad. I was racing a friend of mine to see who could fuck all of them first. Unfortunately, my friend had gotten an early lead on me, and I knew I had to catch up if I wanted to take the trophy home.

That's when I changed tactics to fucking multiple bitches at once. I was able to rally last minute and pull out a victory. Don't worry; victory was the only thing I pulled out if you catch my drift. 

Ever since those first cheerleader threesomes, I've been a connoisseur of group sex. As a youth, I worried that I would never find anything better than sex, but I discovered sex never stops getting better as long as you keep adding more pussy. It's like chasing the dragon but with fewer spoons and more spooning. 

I'm not a cold-hearted bastard. I empathize with your inability to get laid by one bitch, let alone multiple. While I can't magically make a couple of sexy cunts ride your Jimmy Johnson, I can guide you to a website where your fantasies come so close to life you can taste the vagina in the air.

Threesomes aren't a rare genre to find on any porn site, but that doesn't mean every sites selection is as good as the next guy's. There is much variation in quality between different locations, and I would hate to see you slinging ropes to subpar porn. That's why I recommend all threesome fans check out FirstBGG.

The Only Real Threesome

For the uninitiated, "BGG" stands for "Boy Girl Girl." In case no one told you, threesomes don't count if it's with two dudes unless you're gay. Something tells me that not very many gay guys are reading this article right now. If they don't want to fuck one chick, they definitely don't want to fuck two.

First, BGG catalogs the first-time experiences of threesome virgins as they get fucked alongside friends and family. I know how much you guys love fucking your family members. I'll never attend a family reunion where my readers will be present.

The web design on First BGG is free and open while still providing the organizational tools to find what you need. While I'm not a fan of the paper white background, the thumbnails are large and plentiful enough that First BGG isn't so bright that it burns the eyes.

The main menu resides at the top of the site and contains the options Home, Videos, Girls, Sites, Categories, Teen cams, Search, Log in, and Join now.

Teens, Teens, and More Teens

First BGG is part of the Teen Mega World network of porn that includes other well-known sites such as Beauty 4K, X Angels, Old n Young, 18 First Sex, Private Teen Videos, Home Toy Teens, and Squirting Virgin. If you are a fan of teen porn, this is one of the best networks to get involved with. They have thousands upon thousands of top-quality teen porn that could keep you busy for decades.

The Teen Mega World network does host its own live streaming service. As the name suggests, it's all teens all of the time. As a result, they have one of the sexiest collections of live performers you'll ever find. I hope you brought your industrial-sized bucket of lube.

First, BGG is a paid premium porn site, so you will have to invest some of the allowance money your mom gives you if you want to see the goods. They offer four levels of membership to provide possible subscribers options. I'm going to save the best part of the deal for last after explaining membership levels.

The first is a two-day trial that will set you back a single dollar. It will be the best dollar you ever spent and not the last dollar you'll spend on First BGG.

The second option is a one-month subscription for $29.95. Despite being the most expensive option, it's the most popular. Of course, my readers are a lot smarter than your average dumbass, so I know you guys will turn your nose up at that shit.

The third is a three-month membership for $19.95 a month. That's a savings of ten bucks a month. Why do so many retarded motherfuckers pay by the month? Did they suffer a head injury as a child and develop a severe learning disability?

The final and by far best subscription option on First BGG is the one-year for only $9.95 a month. That's twenty dollars less than the one month. It's obvious that your choice is simple on this one.

Threetarded

With all of that said, let's shift over to reviewing some of my favorite content on First BGG, starting with "Balloon Master Satisfies Two Cuties," starring Darcy Dark and Kristi. Already I doubt the realism of this feature, considering that no one who could be referred to as a "balloon master" has ever gotten laid, let alone had a threesome. That's alright, though. Porn is all about fantasy.

Darcy Dark and Kristi love balloons. I can derive a lot of information from that single fact. First off, Darcy Dark and Kristi are clinically retarded. That is the only reason two hot chicks would "love" balloons. Second, they were brutally molested by clowns at a fair when they were younger. I'm thinking they've had a balloon shoved in their cooter more times than they'd like to admit to anyone but a phycologist. 

Because Darcy Dark and Kristi love balloons so much, they have a mutual friend who is a self-described balloon master. As far as hobbies virgins take up, balloon crafting is right up there with magic and live-action-role-playing.

That must make this fucker the luckiest balloon master to ever twist up a sailboat. Darcy and Krisi ask their friend if he can give them a balloon master class, and he, of course, agrees. Who would say no?

To start things off, he twists up a dog and gives it to Darcy. She immediately falls in love with her dog, so Kristi wants one also. However, when this guy goes to create another dog, he creates a balloon cock, instead. As he hands it to Kristi, he asks if she thinks it fits him. Well, there is only one way to find out. Darcy and Kristi take the initiative and pull out his real dick for a sucking and fucking he will never forget or replicate.

Please Don't Get Arrested

I'm unsure if I should review "From Show to Orgy Orgasm" because I don't want to get any of my readers arrested. However, I loved the video so much that I can't help but mention it.

This film stars Darcy Dark and Regina Rich as two friends spending the day together doing fun, girly things. They talk about work, try on different outfits, gossip, and talk about boys. 

As Regina tries on a new skirt, Darcy notices that a voyeur is watching the ladies change, so she decides to play a little trick and tells Regina to take her panties off. What could be better for a voyeur than a perfect view of a young tight pussy?

Eventually, Darcy exposes her trick to Regina, but instead of getting mad, the two devise a plan to make this voyeur's dreams come to life. However, please don't think this shit will ever happen to you.

First, BGG is the sexiest teen threesome site to which I've had the pleasure of stroking my manhood. If it's that great for a guy who had a regular threesome, you lonely fucks will fall in love with the place.

There isn't much First BGG could do to improve the place. My only suggestion is to get rid of that bright white background.

First, BGG is as close as you unfuckable losers will ever get to a threesome, so it's worth every penny.