GroupBanged

When I can, I do my best to suggest ways in which you guys could get laid. It's no easy task. Even old retarded disabled ugly bitches don't want to fuck you. That's a sad state of affairs. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about your preexisting condition. Still, I can try to find workarounds so bitches don't notice it as much.

Slap that Puck and Bust a Nut

Over the years, I've made a bevy of suggestions, including fucking old ugly retarded bitches. To quote Wayne Gretsky, "You miss every shot you don't take." Today, I have another one for you along with evidence for my claim and another superb site to wet your willy too. You fuck faces know that I always deliver.

I've said many times that I love fucking more than one bitch at a time. A big strong alpha male like me could accidentally kill a cunt if she doesn't have backup to take on some of the load. I've broken backs, torn pussies to the asshole, and given many a bitch something to talk about in therapy. Doctors should be paying me for sending them so many of my dick appointment clients. (D.A.Cs for short)

That's why I try to follow a principle I call "D.A.C by the Dozen." I always plan for at least a dozen bitches to be present before I pull out my hammer. If I pull it out early, bitches will hop on it right away, even if I try to stop them. Bitches are relentless for my cock. They can smell it from miles away. It's like a shark smelling blood in the water, except instead of water, it's air, and instead of blood, it's cum.

I'm fully aware that your cock doesn't attract a fanbase as mine does, but that's ok. Let someone else draw the bitches to the orgy. Your job is to blend into the crowd and pick off any weak prey from the bunch.

You have to think like an alpha predator. Despite how powerful and deadly sharks and lions are, they don't seek out big strong prey. Instead, they look for the sick, wounded, and infirmed. It's a much safer bet.

All the bitches in the orgy will be intoxicated by the alphas in the room, but alphas don't fuck ugly cunts. All the eights, nines, and tens are going to be taking alpha cock on like it's made of pure serotonin. What you're looking for are the stragglers. The bitches that are all hot and wet but can get through the crowd to find some alpha dick.

Predator and Prey

That's where you come in. You won't be the only ugly dude at the orgy. At first, you might think of them as competition, but you won't be able to work your magic without them. You need to blend into the crowd. No matter how many dudes are there, almost all will be better than you. You can borrow what little mojo they have by becoming a faceless group member.

Think of it like herds of prey animals. All the weak little bitches want to be deep in the pack where lions, tigers, and bears can't get to them. That's what your dick should do, and just when a bitch least expects it, you leap from the crowd cock first and impale a bitch on your pitiful genitals.

You may be thinking right now that a crowd isn't enough to hide your lack of fuckability, and that's a valid point. I'm glad to hear that you're so self-aware. That's why I've brought evidence in this review, and that evidence is GroupBanged.

GroupBanged does one thing, and they do it quite well. They document some of the sexiest orgies happening anywhere on the planet. Speaking of herds, these videos showcase entire herds of bitches getting fucked every which way. Any place they look is another cock ready to be jabbed into their mouth, and anywhere a guy looks is pussy ripe for the taking.

Take a moment to look at the male participants in these orgy fests. Do you notice anything? Not all of them are strapping young lads with a cock like a lamp post. There are also ugly unfuckable betas like yourselves. Pay attention to how they work. Not only will you be masturbating on Group Banged. You're also studying.

Ode to Joy

Group Banged is one of my favorite orgy sites around, and the only proof I need is that they're part of the Adult Prime network. If you guys read my reviews often, you should already be aware of how fantastic these assholes are. They can make a porn website like Mozart writes a symphony.

As with all of the studios on the Adult Prime network, this is a paid premium porn site. Not to worry, though. The prices are reasonable, and the content you gain access to is more than worth your investment. By that, I mean you get a pass for the entire network for one low price. How many studios are there, you ask? One hundred and six and still growing. That's more porn sites than many men use in a lifetime of beating their meat.

But, despite how incredible its network is, Adult Prime doesn't charge an astronomical fee. Instead, they offer three different subscription options so folks can select whatever fits them the best. For a man like me who is subscribed to more porn sites than he can count, the magic word is cheap.

The first option is a one-month recurring membership for $19.99. As far as one-month porn site subscriptions go, that's an extremely competitive price. Many cost up to thirty or forty bucks. However, this is a sale price, so eventually, the price will go back up. There is no word on when the sale might end, so I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a permanent fixture. Regardless, the prudent thing to do would be to act fast.

The second option is a six-month subscription for $14.99 a month. That is half-off the ordinary one-month cost. Now my ears are perking up. One hundred and six sites, all for under fifteen dollars. That shit is unheard of, but it gets even better.

Finally, the last option is a one-year membership for only $9.99 a month. That's absolutely fucking insane. Between all of the sites on the network, you're looking at over twenty-five thousand videos, all for ten smackeroos. I can't think of a better deal in all of porndom.

The Ultimate Gang Bang Whore

Let's look at some of the content on Group Banged, along with the video player screen, which I'm a big fan of. I'll use "The Ultimate Gang Bang Whore" as an example.

To the right of the video is an information card with everything you need to know about the video at hand. It gives the release date, length, number of views, and user voting numbers. In this case, five people gave it a thumbs up, and one gave it a thumb down.

Following that, you'll see the originating studio along with a list of niches the content fits. For example, this video includes shit like cum shots, blow jobs, doggy style, stockings, a redhead, fishnets, tit play, and tattoos, amongst others.

Most videos are offered in 540p, 720p, 1080p, and 4K. They also include a series of pictures and or screenshots.

One of my favorite aspects of Group Banged is that you can create your own clips. Take your favorite parts from any porn videos from any of the studios and string together a best-of for those times when you have to nut but only have a couple of minutes.

The title wasn't lying when it called the star of this show "the ultimate gang bang whore." She deserves her crown. The video starts with some face sitting and titty rubbing, but if you close your eyes, it sounds like the bitch is eating the best ice cream she's ever had in her life.

Once the cunt is all warmed up, the ultimate gang bang whore passes out blow jobs to the crew. To quote Oprah, "You get a blow job. You get a blow job. You get a blow job."

While she is busy handing out blowers, one of the gents sneaks up behind her and starts plowing her doggy style. This gives the ultimate whore an excuse to really throat fuck these guys. 

While this article needed to be written, the only actual proof you need that Group Banged is a fantastic site is that its part of the Adult Prime network. I hope you don't have work tomorrow because you're about to be a busy man.

It's hard to come up with much to complain about on any of the Adult Prime network sites. However, perhaps they should include a warning detailing how empty your balls will become after only one visit.

Group Banged offers my readers the perfect opportunity to jerk off while studying techniques that could get you laid one day. Don't waste it, you fools.