JOI Babes

Of the many phrases that can describe my readers, “sexually active” is not one of them. It's a shame because few creatures on this earth need to bust a nut more. The universe can be a cruel and callous place at times. Men like me suck up all the pussy leaving you guys in a barren wasteland of hard penises.

I wish I could gift you a few micrograms of my mojo. That's all it would take to turn your life around, but mojo transference is a technology still beyond our reach. Perhaps we will get there one day, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Sex Alternatives

Fortunately, there are alternatives to fucking bitches in their pussies. Things like sex dolls and robots. You guys already know that I've been working closely with Elon Musk to develop a solar-powered Tesla Sex Robot. It will be the most advanced sex robot ever created. Once you fuck it, you may never want to fuck a real woman again.

Of course, you could also go all out and purchase yourself a woman of the night. There are many great escort sites on the market. I've reviewed many of them, so feel free to check them out. It's probably the only way you'll ever feel the gentle touch of a wet pussy against the tip of your cock.

Some men prefer to visit full-service massage parlors for a quick hand job. That gets the job done also, although they usually don't include pussy. Regardless it's a hand that isn't your own draining the clumpy cum from your over-taxed semen storage containers.

Visiting hookers and Asian massage therapists isn't very convenient. Alternatively, you could get yourself an automatic pussy sleeve that strokes your cock while you sit back and relax. It's almost as good as pussy, and you can use it any time, day or night, in the comfort of your own home.

These are all great options, but they have one major problem. They are all expensive. A price for the Tesla Sex Robot base model hasn't been released yet, but estimates put it at at least five grand. That's some serious dough, right there.

I'm sure you already know that hookers and massages are expensive. They aren't five thousand dollars expensive, but a few hundred bucks is still considerable. Since you are unemployed, I doubt it's in your budget.

Automatic pussy sleeves are cheaper still but probably out of your price range nonetheless. You'll be looking at a couple hundred bucks, which isn't much for a guy like me, but I'm not living off an allowance my parents give me. 

Joyful JOI

Is there anything you could do that's cheap and helps you forget that it's your own hand touching your penis? Yes, there is. It's known as JOI, aka jerk-off instructions. It will still be you stroking, but someone else is doing the hard work of figuring out how you'll stroke.

Jerk-off instructions bring a whole new vibe to your masturbation sessions. It feels way more interactive and engaging. You'll wonder how you never tried this shit out sooner.

Jerk-off instruction videos are fairly popular these days, so you will see them on any porn tube site you may happen across. However, as is so often the case, the fetish content on tube sites isn't nearly as good as the fetish content on dedicated sites. If you want the good shit, you need to visit a place like JOIbabes.

The only thing JOI Babes does is jerk off instruction videos, and they have all but mastered the art. It's incredible how much better JOI Babes content is than the shit on Pornhub or Redtube. The selection of models is stupendous, and the production levels are through the roof.

The web design on JOI Babes is a bit drab, but I appreciate the dark background and lack of filler. The only thing there is to focus on is content, and that's all that matters anyway. 

The main menu is located along the top of the site and includes the options Home, Scenes, Network, Models, Categories, Coming soon, Log in, and Join now.

The model list on JOI Babes reads like a who's who of top-rated porn stars and new talented up-and-comers. I can't get enough of bitches like Adalind Gray, Avery Black, Hazel Paige, Helena Price, and Fiji Falzz. Fiji has an ass that will give your prostate a seizure.

While all of the content on JOI Babes is jerk-off instructions, content is still split into categories. It's not a long list, but it's perfectly suited to the site. The list includes such classics as Amateur, Asian, Black, Granny, Fetish, Hairy, Milf, Point of view, Mature, and Lesbian.

JOI Babes is part of a massive network of porn sites that spreads across many different genres and types. The connective tissue is quality. If you love JOI Babes, you'll love any of the other network sites that include shit you're into. Some examples are Honey Trans, Cuck Hunter, Point of view masters, Nude Yoga Porn, Japan Lust, Les Worship, and Trans Roommates.

JOI Babes is a paid premium porn website, so you'll need to break out some cold hard cash to get your paws on the fantastic content here. They offer three different membership options so that you may choose the one that best suits your needs.

They are currently having a sale on a one-month membership for $19.77. It's a great way to get a sample of the place and decide if you want to invest full-time.

The second option is a three-month membership for $74.95. Given the special sale price on a one-month membership right now, the three-month package is actually more expensive. But, the sale is temporary, so you'll want to exchange the monthly membership for something longer when the sale is over.

The final option is definitely the best one. It's a one-year membership for only $12.50 a month. Almost everybody can afford that price, especially if you live with your parents. 

Girlfirend’s Little Sister

I'd say it's time to take a look at some of the content on JOI Babes, starting with "Petite Teen Cecelia Taylor Steals Boyfriend with Jerk off Instruction."

Little Cecelia Taylor has had a crush on you ever since you started dating her older sister. Up until this point, she has been too nervous to act on it, but now you guys are in the house alone, and Cecelia is feeling horny as fuck.

She starts by wearing her heart on her sleeve and telling you about all of the feelings she has had for you since day one. You're a little taken aback at first, but damn is she sexy. You can't help but stare as she undresses for you.

You know that you can't fuck this bitch. It would be too fucked up to bang your girlfriend's younger sister. But that's ok. She just wants you guys to masturbate together. In fact, she has a particular way she wants you to jerk off and is happy to give you instructions on how to do so.

Next up, let's review "Busty Latina Teen Gia DiBella Masturbates and JOI with You." Gia is fucking furious with her dip shit of a fiancee. He never has the time to pay attention to her needs. You're her best guy friend, so she has come over to your house to get some of your sage advice.

However, she had alternative motives. Gia is in need of some attention, and she knows that you have been wanting to fuck her since forever. You will finally be able to see every inch of her body while she fiendishly masturbates on your couch. Don't worry, she will let you jerk off also, but she wants you to listen to her instructions on how.

Empty Wallet, Dry Pussy

Last up, we have "Teen Sugar Baby Minxx Marley Strips to Give you JOI." Minxx Marley has been your sugar baby for many moons at this point, but the money is starting to dry up, and so is her pussy. She isn't here because you're a hottie or cause your cock is so massive. She's here because you have money, and she doesn't.

It turns out Minxx isn't such a bitch after all since she is willing to give you one last show of the pussy you can't be inside of anymore. She'll even let you jerk off while you watch, pending you follow her directions to a T.

Jerk-off instructions are as close as you'll ever get to sex while sitting in the comfort of your own home, so get the best of it on JOI Babes.

The only thing that JOI Babes is missing is a content filter. It wouldn't take a complicated one to make navigating the site as easy as pie. Cream pie.

Stop listening to your own orders and start listening to sluts on JOI Babes.