Straplez

I believe I may have just found my new favorite type of porn. What’s one thing about me that hasn’t changed since day one? That’s right. I love pussy. What’s another thing that will never change about me? I hate cocks in my face. Very good. You’re learning. Alas, I like seeing pussies getting dicked on screen and so I must often see dudes in my porn. This depresses me. It raises my cortisol levels and my doctor said I have to take whatever steps I can to lower that shit before I get a midlife stroke. This shit’s serious. Thankfully, I think I found everything I’ve been looking for in Straplez. By the way, it’s pronounced “Strap Lez” as in strap lesbians. At first, I read it as “staples” with an r. I’m not a puzzle solver, ok? Don’t judge me. I’m mostly here to fap and drone on about porn.

I love Straplez. This site puts cocks and pussies together, without involving any actual cocks. How do they do it, you ask? With strap-on dildos and two babes! This is it. This is how all problems should be solved. I get to watch bitches fuck each other’s pussies with monster dongs and there are no men in sight. This is my dream come true. Now, if only I could get them to come to my house and let me join in on the fun. But I’m getting ahead of myself. You want to know about Straplez. I don’t blame you. This website doesn’t tease and it doesn’t beat around the bush. I’m surprised I haven’t heard about them before to be honest. Then again, I’ve been reviewing porn non-stop every single day for years. Chances are I have reviewed them before and I genuinely don’t remember. Again, high cortisol levels – I’m not well.

Fancy Female Erotica

I was wondering how a random porn website that I’ve never heard of could afford some of the hottest most innocent looking babes in porn. Then, I checked out the site’s terms of service and saw that they’re affiliated with MetArt. Then, it all clicked. This place is just an offshoot of MetArt, damn it. Those guys have been around for much longer than I have. Anyways, they’re famous for making female erotica that both men and women can enjoy. Most of their fans are still men, but compared to other similar studios they have significantly more female viewers on account of how they actually care about the female form. Seriously, these guys take female nudity to a whole new level. They treat naked female bodies as if they were actually art pieces. I always loved this about MetArt, but I felt like they needed to get more depraved to appeal to me personally.

Enter Straplez. This site solves all of my problems with MetArt while leaving in all the best parts, i.e., the babes. On Straplez you get to see some of the hottest women in the universe fuck each other with strap-on dildos, while sporting this really nice authoritative demeanor. All the babes act like girl bosses. There’s no guy on girl, dom on sub dynamic. Even though one babe is supplying cock and the other is taking it, these babes work together like partners. I know I’m the last person you’d expect to say it, but I love gender equality. I also appreciate it when women push back during sex. Most of the time they just lie there while I have to do all the work. I swear to God, if another woman tells me to “Do whatever I want” to her, I’ll put mayonnaise on her nipples and just leave her there to catch flies. The whole point of sex between two people is that two people get involved, together. That’s exactly what you get on Straplez, between two women.

The Action is Scalding Hot

You might think that women couldn’t possibly handle cock as well as men do, but you forget that they have the insider information on how to handle pussy properly. In theory, women should be better pussy fuckers than men since they have the practice equipment in their pants. These babes fuck each other in ways that quite frankly look nothing like male on female penetration. The cock still goes in the pussy, but the motions are different. The whole thing feels like a deep massage more than anything. The girls still thrust back and forth and of course they both get to orgasm, but the whole thing is done much more softly and with gentle pacing. There’s no wild disjointed penetration with no regard for patience. These girls really stretch out the action and I love them for that.

You’d think that I’d just prefer my porn raw and violent, but my biggest kink is seeing women actually aroused. Contrary to popular opinion, I am actually a feminist. I believe that all bitches have a right to cum hard on my cock. Hell, by watching these videos I’m actually learning their insider information on how they actually want me to handle their pussies with my cock. Granted, I’m packing a few more inches than their monster cock dildos, but I’ll make it work just the same. I’ll just have to hold back a bit lest I cock-punch their cervixes.

They Want You

I’m no stranger to high quality porn site marketing, but even I have to tip my hat to Straplez for the fantastic work they’ve done on their site. They haven’t reinvented the wheel or whatever the fuck. They’ve just taken all the best parts of other similar porn sites and brought it all together under one roof. They use most of your screen to showcase smut. They don’t bombard you with useless information and get this, they actually give you a free preview tier without getting your credit card information. Granted, they ask for your e-mail, but what other website is willing to give you not one, not two but three full-length films from their library, for free?

The people behind Straplez are working really hard to grow this place and spread the word. This is a legitimate porn website with all the expected bells and whistles as well as an abundance of fantastic videos that are just waiting to be watched. I have to admit; it’s nice to review a place as classy as Straplez once in a while, to cleanse myself of the aftershock that comes with reviewing diaper porn and scat fan fiction.

Worth Every Penny

You didn’t think a MetArt production would be free, would you? Of course they want to charge you the big bucks. It’s worth it. They’re not asking for much, though. Compared to other premium porn sites, this place is a steal. They want $20 a month, for a recurring membership or $40 as a single payment for 30 days without the renewal. Both of those tiers are kind of shit. I recommend the yearly subscription for $100. That’s an offer you can’t beat. Most other websites of this nature charge around $120 for a yearly subscription. The way I see it, you’re basically getting a discount for the best porn on the planet.

Granted, this only counts if you’re personally a fan of strap-on sex and babes. I’d say that if you’re a straight male then you’re sure to love the content on Straplez, but I don’t want to be too presumptuous. Thankfully, I don’t have to do the work this time around. You can do it yourself. They have the free previews, silly. Check them out yourself. That way you can know for certain whether you’re interested in a long-term subscription. One thing I should note is that the previews that I got said they were available in up to 1080p, but visually they looked like they couldn’t have been more than 720p on a good day. They were blurry and kind of … blocky? I guess I was seeing compression artifacts. Either way, I hope that the actual videos within are a better resolution than the previews, because if not, that could be a deal breaker. Currently, they’ve got 45 productions on Straplez and I’m hoping that the next time I come back to the site they’ll have several more. Time will tell.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy these 45 sets of gorgeous women pleasuring each other with extreme passion and dedication. With the advent of quality strap-on dildos science has officially gone too far because now the best men in porn are actually women. I have zero problems with this development.