Knocked Up Sluts

I’m reviewing pregnant porn again. Yay. Let us commence with the generic jokes that I’ve made a hundred times already. Let’s just get them out of the way nice and quick. Fucking pregnant women is stupid, because they’re already pregnant. What’s the point? They don’t need cum anymore. They’ve been properly inseminated. Leave them alone. They’re not sexier. They’re hosting a parasite. You could make the point that there’s more of them to love, but that’s not true – they’re not large, they’re bloated. Bellies are not hot. Bellies will never be hot. Stop trying to convince me that pregnant babes are fuckable. I know that they’re the only form of babe on the planet that is naturally immune to getting pregnant so you don’t have to wear a condom, but when the solution is that she’s already pregnant, well, why chance it?

Now, I’m gonna go the opposite route and pretend, for a moment, that I am actually a pregnancy smut enthusiast, because I literally can’t think of any other way to keep myself stimulated through an entire review of this shit.

Give Me Bellies

Pregnant women are amazing! Wow! They’re so fucking hot! I can’t get enough of them! Those supple, scrumptious bodies. Oh my, how I want to lick them up, head to toe. I especially want to lick the belly. Oh my, that amazing belly. How I want to get my hands on it. I want to cum on pregnant women’s bellies and rub the cum in so that I send the message – pregnant women were made for my cock. I also want them to swallow my cum, because as you know, pregnant women need their nutrients. They’re sucking cum for two, after all. See, that’s not weird at all. Fucking a woman that has a literal fucking symbiote inside her is totally normal and everyone should do it, especially if you could fuck a bitch who’s carrying someone else’s baby. That’s very likely to go well. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Go for it.

This is what you people sound like to me. This is how I imagine you are at parties – you just walk up to random people you don’t know and start talking about the folds on a pregnant vagina. You sicken me.

Pregnancy Ruins a Woman

All right, time for me to nut up or shut up. It’s my job to review this smut and review it I shall. KnockedUpSluts is a porn website and studio that exclusively employs sluts who have been knocked up. What do you know? The sluts are also exclusively quite ugly. This is my personal opinion, sure and I am not a pregnancy fetishist, of course, but I swear to you, I’m not being biased. For some reason, pregnant women are fucking disgusting. It’s not inherent to the pregnancy. It has to do with the pornographic distribution. For example, you don’t see bitches like Liya Silver and Emily Willis, but in a pregnant rendition. Bitches like that retire when they get pregnant. They might get back to work afterwards or they might decide they’re done with smut, but they don’t fuck on camera while they’re pregnant. That much is known.

This comes with the unfortunate downside. There’s a developed circle of pregnant women, that is ever revolving because they only get a few months of potential at a time. These bitches are all B-tier. I have the sense that the only reason they even got into porn was because they got pregnant and this is their way of starting off a college fund for their kids or some shit. I say this because most of the women in these videos don’t look like they have the potential to be profitable pornstars. Sure, they’re making money because they’re pregnant, but if you were to imagine what they looked like before they got knocked up, well, it’s not a pretty site. They’re 2s on average. If you’re lucky, you might run into a 5. This is depressing shit.

It’s Not Their Fault

I guess my personal opinion on pregnancy fetishism is also skewed by this. I have been reviewing it for years and every single time I give it a shot I see ugly bitches. I’m a strong man. I can handle damn near anything as long as women are involved. I’ve dabbled in BDSM. I’ve let women peg me once or twice. Hell, I’ve even fucked a fat chick, so you know that I can work around the huge belly and all that. But, one thing I can’t get over is a woman with a dog face. There’s just no hope for them. My heart goes out to their suffering, but I straight up refuse to fuck dog faced women. I’m sorry. I hope that doesn’t sound misogynistic. Hell if I was gay, I wouldn’t fuck dog faced men. The principle matters to me.

This explosion of nonsensical and seemingly unrelated consequences leads to a very unfortunate conclusion – pregnancy porn on premium sites is inherently kind of shit, even if the sites in question are doing a fantastic job. KnockedUpSluts are definitely doing their best. Hell, their content is well made, well produced and certainly well directed. They get decent dudes to do the fucking and the girls are rather committed to the action. Every single one of them really sells you on the idea of wanting to be there and enjoying the cock. On paper, the content is absolutely stunning. But, when you see it, it’s all kind of underwhelming.

It’s All the Same Shit

First of all, there’s no variety. This is a natural problem that a lot of fetish sites run into. They focus so much on the fetish, that they forget that there’s more to smut than just the main course. Sure, it’s a pregnancy sex site, but what about anal sex? That doesn’t count? What about cum play? Lesbians? How about some dommy mommy plays? Yeah, you get none of that. In essence, the bitches are wasted on the exact same scenario, hundreds of times, over and over again. Some of these girls even have multiple videos available on the site so you can watch them getting fucked in the exact same way, multiple times. This is painful.

Unfortunately, KnockedUpSluts doesn’t offer any previews of their videos, but they did have the good sense to shit out long previews of most of their videos on tube sites. I won’t be listing any actual sites where you can enjoy this content, because I feel that would be a bit dumb considering I’m reviewing the source site. But, if you want previews in a lower resolution than the original, you will find them. Just look up the site’s name, with added spaces, on some popular porn tubes. You’ll see what I mean. You won’t need my help finding them.

Affordable Quality, I Guess

KnockedUpSluts has apparently won a lot of AVN awards including best site and hottest scene. I personally wouldn’t give pregnancy sites any awards, but hey, to each their own. If AVN says that KnockedUpSluts are doing a great job, then it must be true. The videos on here are available in super high quality and they’re perfectly lovely to stream on just about any device. Once again, on paper, this site is doing everything they need to in order to justify their status as a proper premium porn site.

One thing that absolutely blew me away about KnockedUpSluts is that they only want $48 for a yearly subscription. For that alone they deserve praise. Any active premium site that wants less than $50 for a yearly sub is fine in my book. You can also sample the content for a dollar and enjoy it for two days straight, or if you’d like a smaller subscription, you can sign up for a month for $15. Honestly, at the rate the yearly sub is going for, I’d recommend just going straight to that tier if you’re serious about this content.

Maybe the thing I’m missing in between all of these gripes is that pregnancy fetishism has some sort of implied vanilla tinge to it. Maybe the dudes that love pregnancy porn really care about the 2s in these videos. Maybe they want the repetitive action where all you see is penis in pregnant vagina over and over again. I don’t know. I am not one of these people. As for you, well, it’s on you to decide what you deem fap-worthy. I’ve given you all the details about the quality of the videos and the rest is on you. Check out the previews on other sites before you decide to sign up for a paid subscription.