Northern Spanking

A lot of shit can be done to an ass. It's a jack of all trades when it comes to jacking off. Not every activity is for everyone, but that's ok. 

The Many Faces of Ass

For better or worse, the first thing that comes to mind is eating ass. That's one activity that is definitely not for everyone. It's all about how much you hate poop. I myself am not a big poop fan. Sure, I'll stick my cock in an asshole all day, but you're not getting my tongue down there without pay.

As the ultimate alpha male, I would have to lower myself to lick a bitches asshole. It's not a great look. I'd rather force sluts to lick my dirty, unwashed undergrundle. If anyone is getting their scrum munched, it's me. I don't even like the way it feels. I simply enjoy demeaning the sluts I fuck.  

Of course, that brings us to sticking your dick in ass. Fucking is one of the best things you can do to an asshole. Unless a bitch is a virgin, the asshole is always tighter than the pussy. It's not used to shit coming in, only out, so the O-ring clamps down on your johnson like it's about to strangle your shaft to death. 

Whether men are willing to admit it or not, one of our favorite aspects of ass fucking is that most chicks don't particularly like it. It's a way for a bitch to prove that she is really into you. If a cunt won't let you into her poopy chamber, she doesn't like you yet. It's the ultimate test.

You can also grind the booty against your dick. Grinding has been the best thing to happen to dance since it was first invented by cavemen. To be fair, I bet dancing started off as simulated sex. Unfortunately, later music and religion got in the way, so I'm glad to see us returning to our roots.

I still remember the first time a bitch grinded against my dick. It was incredible. The rest of my life has been split into before the grind and after the grind.

On that note, while rare, you can get a cheek job. It's sort of like grinding but with no pants on. Think of it like titty fucking a bitches ass cheeks, and just like titty fucking you can't do it with a cunt that isn't well-endowed. Cardi B could probably give cheek jobs to four dudes at once.

While all of those ass-related activities are a blast, one reigns supreme as the most loved: spanking. Everyone with at least one hand and one ass cheek loves spanking. From the jiggle to the slap sound, it couldn't be more satisfying. Unlike eating ass, spanking is universal.

No matter where you travel on this tiny blue dot of ours, you'll meet spank fans. Right now, as you read this article, Sentinelese tribe members are whooping each other with switches and rocks. It's ingrained into our culture and history.

Humanity's passion for ass slapping is codified into our porn. There isn't a tube site worth its weight in salt that doesn't have a healthy spanking section. It's integral to the success of any porn webmaster. 

However, while many tube sites have a respectable collection of spank porn, they can't compete with dedicated sites. Only those willing to dedicate their lives to the spank can collect such an incredible library as NorthernSpanking.

I'm not sure why they're called Northern Spanking; when spanking happens south of the border, if you catch my drift. But regardless, it's a masterfully crafted porn site.

On the note of its master craftsmanship, I must bring up that Northern Spanking is a paysite. I know, I know. But hear me out. Free porn isn't what it used to be. All the best content has made its way behind paywalls over the last couple of years. Porn isn't the wild wild west that it used to be in the 2010s.

Fortunately, prices on Northern Spanking are competitive and won't break your bank. What else are you doing with that money anyway, saving for retirement? What are you, a pussy? Everyone knows that the only reasonable way to invest in your retirement these days is to wait for the inevitable collapse of society. 

There are a few different pricing options, so pick the one that best suits you. Your options are $29.95 for thirty days, $59.95 for ninety days, $94.95 for one hundred and eighty days, and $149.95 for a whole year. You can also go with a reoccurring monthly bill of $26.95, but the cheapest option remains a year membership.

That membership comes with plenty of perks. Believe it or not, Northern Spanking has been around since 2001. That means their archive of spank porn is fucking vast, to say the least. It's like the Smithsonian of porn in here. Plus, they update with a brand new exclusive film every week. On top of that, the photo section gets multiple updates a week.

Films are presented in 720p, .mp4, and .wmv formats for easy viewing on a wide range of devices. They even include 1080p high def versions for big-screen use.

Phone a Friend

The design on Northern Spanking is clean and sharp. Because of this, it's a great site to watch porn with a lady on. She won't feel intimidated by debaucherous flashing ads depicting a woman being drawn and quartered by a group of rabid Albanian midgets. You might even want to put on a jacket and tails before you start beating your meat.

The main menu rests up top and includes the options Home, Updates, Photos, Films, Performers, About, Blog, Members log in and Join. The list of performers on Northern Spanking goes on for-fucking-ever. Remember that these fucks have been at it for over two decades, so of course, they have featured over a hundred sluts in that time.

You guys already know I still love pictures, so I'm always appreciative when a site includes them. Northern Spanking is spilling over with superb photo albums that will make your cock leap into your lubed hand with reckless abandon.

You guys also know that I'm a big proponent of porn blogs. They are the best place to find new videos, sites, and fetishes. Porn blogs attract only the most dedicated porn watchers. These are motherfuckers after my own heart. They spend more time thinking about tits than anything else in their day.

Northern Spanking visitors love talking about their favorite porn, so anytime you have a question about who someone is or where you can find more, ask it here. You'll get an answer before you finish asking the question.

Party Punishment

We better check out some of the content before you guys run off and beat your dicks. "Punishment weekend" is the first video to jump out at me.

Casey and Andy's parents have just returned from a weekday trip to discover that the house is fucking destroyed. The only way this could have happened is if Casey and Andy ignored their parent's warning and had a party anyway. 

The disappointment Paul and Alex feel for their daughters is palpable. There is only one way to respond to this type of behavior, and it's called spanking.

The parents inform Casey and Andy that they will be wearing their PE clothes all weekend. At first, this seems odd. That is until you see what their plans are. Unfortunately for these sisters, their PE gear is easy to pull down.

These ladies will be enduring an entire weekend of spanking. By the time their parents are done with them, they won't have any flesh left on their buttocks.

Because this is an all weekend ordeal, the video is split into three parts. In the first, Casey and Andy find out what their punishment will be and experience their first beating.

In part two, Andy makes the dumb mistake of not listening to her parent's instructions. It was not the time for Andy to be sassy, so she received swift retribution. 

In part three, it's Casey who earns her father's ire. When will these sisters learn that they have to listen? Personally, I hope they never do. I could spend the rest of my life watching them get spanked.

Northern Spanking brings spanking up to the next level. If you have a partner that you would like to introduce to spanking, this is the perfect site to do it.

Currently, the only reoccurring bill option is one month. It would be great if they added reoccurring three, six, and twelve-month options at a slight discount.

Hustle that ass over to Northern Spanking now and have the time of your life. You might feel the sting right through the screen.