xHamster Yoga

Namaste, fellow masturbators. Welcome to your first yoga class. I am The Porn Dude and I will be your spirit guide. We will begin by cleansing our chakras and opening our third eyes. Now, I want you take your cock into your hand and assume the position. We are going to begin slowly. Then, we’re going to go faster. Then, we’re going to stop to take a 30-minute nap, then we’ll go again.

Yoga is not sexy, but it can be. Yoga pants are always sexy, unless they’re worn by fat chicks. There’s something about the outline of a quality pussy that gets me harder than if I were to see that same chick naked. Don’t get me wrong, I want them to strip, I just enjoy the show that comes beforehand if they’re wearing yoga pants. No, this is not a review for yoga pants. This is a review of XHamster’s yoga section.

Casual but Sexy

Yoga porn is not really a fetish, per se. It’s more of a casual theme. Still, I find it worthwhile to talk about, considering the overall popularity of this dumbass trend. The only thing worse than fapping to yoga videos is actually willingly performing yoga. It’s a waste of time. Yes, it’s a form of fitness, but you could also, you know, do actual fitness. That would work much better. Anyways, I’m not here to judge eastern fitness traditions. I’m here to take the piss out of middle-aged upper class white women and also, I’m here to fap to babes in yoga pants. If the former or the latter appeal to you, then stick around, because I intend to go deep.

The yoga fetish is a natural neighbor to a certain pornographic theme that’s been around for at least 50 years now. We’ve had babes in spandex exercising on video since the late 70s. It’s a trend. As the years went by, the outfits became either tighter or looser, depending on which direction they had to move in order to be more sexual. The point is, with each passing year, women are more comfortable walking around raising boners. Go to an average yoga center today and all the babes are going to look like they’re prepping for a porn shoot. There’s something inherently empowering about yoga and the adjoining nonsense that gets women to peacock around, sexually arousing every man in a five-mile radius.

Yoga Studios are Hot as Fuck

I’ve seen yoga studios out and about here and there and every single time all I see is a long line of gorgeous asses in skin tight yoga pants just stretching for the world to see. I swear to God, if they stretch far enough, I can see the outline of their uteri. That’s the plural to uterus, by the way. Sometimes I think that yoga was invented by some random horny dude who just needed to give women a reason to show off their goodies without feeling bad. It’s like the whole damn exercise routine is one big excuse for them to thot around. Don’t get me wrong, I adore it, I just wish they weren’t acting like there’s some sort of spiritual depth to all this. There isn’t. It’s stretching for the sake of stretching.

Anyways, my general disdain for spiritual relaxation bullshit aside, let’s talk about XHamster’s yoga section. It’s surprisingly fantastic. I mean, I knew already that this site is loaded with quality content coming in from countless top-notch sources. That’s no secret. What really blew me away was seeing how yoga porn lends itself to a very natural form of pornography. The framing, the exposition, the dicking, it’s all very arousing and it doesn’t take much devotion to the fetish in order for the pornstars to pull off a believable experience. The whole scenario is naturally very arousing, considering the female form is naturally in a fuckable position. The babes are also very comfortable.

Mainstream Perfection

Most of the scenes on XHamster’s yoga section are professional studio productions. Most of the fetishes I’ve been reviewing lately that are massage related in any way feature a lot of homemade smut and those independent high-end amateur productions you’re used to seeing on PornHub lately. Yoga seems to be particularly popular with the studios and not so popular with the general populace. Either way, the smut you do end up with is top notch. The genre mixed really effortlessly with mainstream directed productions.

The videos usually start rather innocent, really selling you on the yoga angle. There’s ample exposition, though most of it is non-verbal. You get to see, rather than hear the premise. There’s stretching and of course 90% of the poses are just variations of downward dog. Personally, I’m not surprised. Nine tenths of yoga porn is just women showing off their asses. Now, what I did find impressive were the videos that featured entire yoga studios of women. I’m talking more than a dozen babes at a time. They weren’t all involved in the smut, but they were all present and doing the bending and stretching before the smut actually happened.

Yoga is Inherently Sexual

The fucking also manages to be tangentially related to yoga, with the girls remaining in a kind of yoga spread during the actual sex. For example, if you’re seeing downward dog, then the chick will most definitely get banged in that position a bit later in the video. I very much adore the level of quality that went into these videos, from the production value to the hotness of the babes. I guess hot chicks gravitate to this kind of smut on account of how fun and easy it is to produce. It’s vanilla porn at its finest. It’s made better by the play and the outfits, but the general premise is really innocent. It’s a guy and a girl having standard boring old sex. What more could you ask for?

On the flip side, you’ve got a lot of solo videos featuring very athletic and flexible babes literally stretching on camera as a flex. They sit on comfortable chairs; they air out their pussies and point them at the sun for all the world to see. Vaginas need vitamin D, what can I say? Naked yoga is apparently a thing now and it involves stretching the pelvis as far as it will possibly go. I like this form of smut. It’s the kind of shit I enjoy watching in VR. The babes showcase the best of their goodies in the best possible way. They spread, they bend, they relax and sometimes they even rub down with oil. Oh, you’re also going to see a lot of babes doing the splits. Sometimes they do it straight onto a cock. It’s fantastic stuff.

You’ll Love this Content

I’ll level with you. Yoga isn’t exactly my kind of fetish, because it’s not a fucking fetish. It’s an excuse to spend money to hang out with women. And, they don’t even accept dudes, so it’s not like you could sign up. I mean, you could probably do yoga with other men, but at that point, just fucking convert to homosexuality and call it a day. Paying to stretch with men is not my idea of a good time. And before you ask, yes, I do go to the gym and no it’s not the same fucking thing. Men at the gym don’t air their cocks at me as they would if I did yoga with them.

Ok, rant over, let’s get back to what we were discussing. These babes are fucking gorgeous. I’m seeing all kinds of perfect bodies and what I really love about these yoga babes is that they have soft slim bodies as opposed to the kind of hard bodies you’re used to seeing from gym rat bitches. No shade on girls that go to the gym. They’re cool too. But sometimes a girl can have too much muscle. These babes have more of a flexible build. They’ve got the jiggly bits; they’re just hanging high and taut. You know – everything is firm like mutton. They’ve got ass cheeks that you’d love to sink your teeth into. I’m all around blown away by how hot these babes are.

XHamster have done a fantastic job at compiling an unbeatable collection of seemingly endless videos featuring yoga pants and women who take off their yoga pants. I’m very excited when I browse these pages and I know you will be too. Hell, you would love this smut even if you weren’t fetishistic at all. It’s one of those “one size fits all” types of pornography. It’s vanilla, but also unique enough that it catches your eye every single time.