ABDLmatch

ABDL match! Life is hard and full of challenging tasks that must be completed to remain alive. Some of the hardest of these are having a job, maintaining interpersonal relationships, and finding bitches that wear diapers. You'd think there would be bitches in pampers raining down from the sky, but that doesn't happen for whatever reason.

I don't get it. People are quick to judge a full-grown adult man wearing a diaper full of diarrhea. What a bunch of fucking squares. I don't understand what's so creepy about an overweight fifty-five-year-old man grabbing his binkie, crawling into his cradle, filling his Luvs with urine, and getting a hard-on.

What's there not to love? People like babies. People like boners. People like keeping their pants clean when they shit themselves. So I don't see what could go wrong when you combine all of those things into one glorious moment.

What could be more innocent than some dude that looks like a blend of Guy Fieri and Dog the Bounty hunter, sucking his thumb and stroking his cock? The very essence of purity can be distilled down to a gentleman watching The Paw Patrol while eating spaghettiOs and cleaning cum off his bonnet. Nothing says virtuous like drinking Keystone light out of a sippy cup while you watch porn and play with a set of fake plastic keys.

For some reason, the rest of the world doesn't see it the way we see it. I struggle to identify where the major malfunction is. I mean, you can't make a baby without having sex first, so it stands to reason that having sex while dressed like a baby is the next natural step.

Well, the world might judge you, but the PornDude doesn't - he's right here with you. And I want you to know that you're not alone. Plenty of men want to dress up like babies and stroke their manhoods.

Sharing is Caring

Why bottle up your shame and keep it to yourself when you could share it with a community of fellow adult babies on ABDLmatch? You never have to have the awkward, 'can I dress up like a baby while we fuck' conversation again. How many times has that ruined an otherwise perfect night?

ABDLmatch is the premier diaper dating site, and that's definitely something to be proud of. Started in 2013, ABDLmatch is nearly ten years old, and in that time, they have matched thousands of adult babies together. These guys are responsible for more cum in Luvs than any other dating site in the world. They should pat themselves on the back. It's an accomplishment up there with the moon landing and constructing the Suez Canal.

There are far more adult babies than you think there are. That's tragic for the world at large but fantastic for you fuck faces. Getting started on ABDLmatch is an easy four-step process. First, fill out your profile with all your basic info such as email, age, username, gender, and what you are looking for.

Second, upload a picture. All accounts are required to have an associated image. This helps to build trust between members and keeps out riff-raff. You don't have to show your face in the picture, but many do. Others stick to a close-up full diaper image.

Third, start hunting for your ideal mate. And forth, send them a message. As you explore the site, you'll see that certain features are placed behind a paywall. Well, not paying for the premium service won't stop you from finding and meeting other diaper fucks, but the premium service makes it a lot easier. Some examples are gaining access to lists of the most popular members and staying up to date on all the newbies.

One of the most popular accounts on ABDLmatch is for a man named Harry. His profile picture displays him wearing a shit-filled diaper. Call me crazy, but nothing says rock-hard erection to me like the combination of babies, fecal matter, and absorbent undergarments.

The front page looks like an old social media site such as Myspace. The main menu sits up top and has the options Home, Search, Log out, Profile, Messages, Media, Network, Settings, Search, and Upgrade account.

Down the right side is a quick search filter. Enter who you are, what you seek, an age range, and a country—boom, now you're scrolling through all the active members that fit your criteria.

No Baby Fakers

No one on ABDLmatch is half-assing their baby fetish. You don't join a diaper website if you just kind of enjoy wearing a diaper. You join because it's an all-encompassing lifestyle. If you couldn't tell by my sneaky disses, I think you're a bunch of sissy fags, but you probably take that as a compliment. Fair enough. Own that diaper, bitch.

Despite my lack of passion for the subject, I did a deep dive on some ABDLmatch members to see what they were all about. I will be changing names to maintain these perverts' privacy. For some reason, I get the vibe that sixty percent of ABDLmatch members are bank managers, and I don't want to get anyone fired.

I didn't need to see Steve on ABDLmatch to know he was an adult baby. I would have called it out from a mile away while he walked down the street. He has all the hallmarks: a large gut, hairy shoulders, an unkempt beard, and sad, sunken eyes. A man only has eyes that sunken when he loves to shit himself.

Mommy!

Steve is looking for a woman that reminds him of his mom. He didn't say that explicitly, but it's pretty clear that's the phycology happening here. Somewhere along the line, Steve's mom was too busy sucking dicks at the local dive bar to change his diapers, so now Steve wants a woman to jerk him off using his own dooky juices for lube. Isn't the human brain fascinating?

Donny comes from the opposite side of ABDLmatch. He's a dom looking for a baby woman to care for. Donny must be the CEO of a fortune five hundred company because he has money to buy all the toys that make adult babies play a good time.

Some guys have a man cave. Well, Donny has a baby cave decked out with all the trimmings. There's an adult-sized crib complete with rocking legs and a hanging carousel. A barney playmat already accentuated with puke and piss stains. And every form of rattler and chew toy is spread across the floor like an earthquake went off.

Bright pink and baby blue posters adorn every inch of wall space. You'll find all your favorite children's characters from the cast of Sesame Street to the Loony toons. The colors are enough to make you think someone slipped acid into your baby bottle.

I'm almost certain this crazy motherfucker owns all of the Disney movies that have ever come out. Not only that, but he has copies in VHS, Laserdisc, DVD, and Blueray.

As one should expect of a man like Donny, his diaper library is the only thing dwarfing his Disney movies collection. Every variant and every company is represented. He must have a diaper secretary on payroll whose entire job is to stay updated on new diaper releases. His attic is packed to the brim with them. But, according to Don, it's not even his whole collection. Apparently, he rents two storage garages spilling over with diapers. "When I open the doors, I have to dodge falling Pampers." What an absolute animal.

However, I think my favorite part of Donny's dedication to the craft is his decked-out minivan. This dude lives in a five-million-dollar mansion, and he drives around an early two thousand's Dodge Caravan. What a god damn animal.

Hopefully, you're not stupid enough to think he kept that bitch stock. No way. It's been decked out into the ultimate soccer mom van. It even comes with a built-in electric stroller that follows daddy around without his guidance. Any adult baby would be thrilled to have Donny as a parent.

Meeting adult babies naturally out in public is tough to do. So save yourself the embarrassment of trying and instead visit ABDLmatch. These are your people. Everyone here loves adult diapers and baby play.

The website is easy to use and includes both free and paid premium features. In addition, there are a shit ton of members, so you'll never run out of people to get to know.

Outside of its existence, the only thing that bothers me about ABDLmatch is its premium features. They never outline precisely what they are on the site. You'll find out as you explore, but they should advertise what paid membership includes.

I can't promise you'll meet a Donny on ABDLmatch, but anyone is better than no one. Create an account today and start your search.