Eporner Bisexual

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the definition of bisexual porn makes no fucking sense what-so-ever. No-one wants to admit it out loud, but porn on the internet is largely made for male masturbators. We’re living in a patriarchy and people like me are apparently top dog. It’s funny – I don’t really feel like I’m in charge. I feel like I’m being kicked around by just about any woman who comes along trying to sink her claws into me, but never mind that. On the topic of bisexuality, it’s pretty damn impossible to present a person’s sexual preference on screen because you can’t know what’s going on inside their heads. Bisexuals are attracted to pretty much everything that moves, and I’m very envious of that, but the problem is that you could see a woman fucking another woman and you’d assume they’re both lesbians, on account of how they’re fucking each other. They could both be bisexual but you’d have no way of knowing.

The internet has a clever way of solving this problem by only focusing on the sex that is perceived, rather than the sexual attraction of the people involved. So, lesbian sex is neither had by lesbians nor seen by lesbians explicitly. Rather, lesbian sex is sex that features a woman fucking another woman, period. She could be doing it under duress and not enjoying herself at all, but she’s still technically a lesbian as far as internet porn categorization is concerned. When it comes to bisexual porn, well, to qualify you have to see a man fucking another man while a woman is also involved in the sex somehow. That is, everywhere on the internet except on EPorner.

EPorner’s Bi Porn Is Unique

I’ve always known EPorner as a popular and often overlooked mainstream free porn tube that offers a smattering of lowest common denominator smut. You can check out endless streams of videos of starlets like Lisa Ann and the like as much as you want, in medium quality with mild compression and no obligation of payment. I didn’t expect EPorner to pull a complete 180 and surprise me with their bisexual porn. They’re one of very few websites on the internet who seem to include lesbians, gay men and pretty much all people who qualify as bisexual on their bisexual section.

This is a gift and a curse. It renders this section problematic for anyone who isn’t properly bisexual and here’s how. If you’re a lesbian, you’ll see too many cocks across this section. If you’re a straight man, you have the same problem. Straight women will find next to nothing to enjoy and straight men, well, we can fap to the occasional blowjob video. Still, it’s kind of hard to find a nice video to fap to when there’s tons of thumbnails showing gay blowjobs. They’re off in the corner of my eye, but they’re still annoying. I wish I could turn them off. Then again, I am checking out bisexual porn so I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking.

Cocks, Pussies, And Titties in Every Combination

The bottom line here is that you get a mix of all these different kinds of porn and all of them should satisfy your urges and match your preferences if you are indeed bisexual. It’s kind of like if you took every single video across a site without the gay or trans filter and just slapped them all together. I honestly kind of appreciate this approach to porn sorting. The gay switch is very helpful for narrowminded sexaholics like myself, but if you’re bi it’s just a layer of bullshit standing between you and quality pornography.

EPorner’s approach to bisexual porn is the widest net I’ve ever seen cast by any porn tube, ever. I actually find it kind of confusing how they only have 11 thousand results under the entire section. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a lot of smut and I’m happy about it, but considering how every single fucking video on the entire site technically qualifies, I don’t understand how they’re managing to cut short. They could just play a trick on you and show you every single video they’ve got, without reserve. One way or another, the bisexual section of EPorner is here to stay and it’s doing a fantastic job at staying relevant and enjoyable. Not for me, of course, but for all my bisexual brothers and sisters out there who are dying to fap.

Men Sucking Cocks

There is a downside to this approach, however and I have to point it out because it’s kind of annoying. I found a video on this section made by a site called CzechBiPorn. In that video, two dudes have sex with each other and with a hot babe. This is what I consider hardcore bisexual smut. Again, I don’t like it, on account of the gay cock sucking, but I can respect it. I bet that the dude in the video is really enjoying having his cock sucked by a hot babe while he’s sucking on a hot dude’s dick. It’s a nice enough formula. Bisexual people are like Tetris blocks. Spin them around, slide them in, click them together and you’ve got yourself a nice little cohesive system. The sucks and fucks are ever inspirational.

I’m pissed about this whole thing because I had to scroll past two pages of porn to even find this CzechBiPorn video and it was the first one I could see that had both dude on dude and dude on chick sex in one video. I know I made a big deal about how the internet doesn’t consider gay dudes and chicks as bisexual by default, but excluding the most on-point bisexual sex hardly seems like a clever solution. So, on the one hand, EPorner is doing a great job at being inclusive, but on the other, they’re drowning out the hardcore three-way bisexual porn. I don’t really know what to make of this. How am I supposed to review a site section that’s so fucking random and disjointed?

You Might Like It. I Don’t.

I’d like to tell you what the best videos on EPorner’s bisexual section are, but it’s so painfully subjective, I don’t know where to start. My personal favorites were the ones that featured a single dude having sex with multiple bitches at a time. It reminds me of my life. I can easily immerse myself into that kind of action. I don’t, however, enjoy seeing dudes sucking each other off, but that could easily be your favorite type of smut here, especially if you enjoy homemade videos. A lot of dudes seem to be uploading themselves and their gay sexual escapades here on EPorner. I guess they’re the ones that tag the videos as bisexual as they actually identify as such. We may never know.

Beyond these homemade clips, you’ll also find a ton of professionally made videos that feature a couple plus a male guest. CzechBiPorn is largely structured in this way and other companies like BiSexEmpire are doing the same. There are a lot of professionally made videos that essentially specialize in MMF threesomes. That’s what passes for generic bisexual porn on other sites. Either way, all of this content is here, mashed together in one place for you to dive into at random.

At this point I don’t know if I’m complaining or complimenting, because I could not be any more out of my element than I am right now. Between the countless videos of dudes fisting themselves on camera, alone and the clips of men sucking other men’s cocks, I feel like I’m scarred for life. I’ve reviewed gay porn before, but when I do so I’m usually in a very focused and technical mood. I don’t enjoy it, I just analyze it. Here, I see some amazing tits, I pop a boner and then boom, I look at two dudes sucking each other off. I feel like I’m being forcefully hypnotized into sucking dick. I don’t like it.

You on the other hand might love this crap, considering that most people that read my reviews do so one-handed. Then again, most people who read my reviews abandon me long before I’ve gotten this far down the page, so I guess if you’re reading this you’ve already blown a load to some cock sucking action and you’re just here for the post mortem. Well, there you go. I think that EPorner has a fantastic bisexual section, but it’s strangely defined and hard to sort through. The content is fantastic. Both the professional and the amateur smut is to my taste, but as you already know, the combinations and permutations of cocks and vaginas aren’t quite lined up the way I’d want them to be.