XVideos Dick Flash

Xvideos ain’t exactly PornHub when it comes to site traffic and daily visits, but it’s no slouch either. There are almost a billion visits daily, it’s the twelfth most popular website in the world, and it’s the second most visited porn site after the big daddy that is PornHub. Visitors spend on average 12:37 on the site choking their chickens (or paddling the pink oboe – I’m not leaving the ladies out here), which is actually about a minute longer than PornHub visitors. What is XVideos doing that means people take a minute longer to spit their wad? God may know, but I fucking don’t.

XVideos Site History

XVideos launched all the way back in 2007, putting it at 15 years as of 2022. Its owner is Stephane Pacaud, who is surprisingly something of a little bitch for somebody who founded the second-biggest porn site in the world. He got offered $120 million by some kraut who wanted to create a porn monopoly, and the fucking dipshit turned him down to go play Dungeons and Dragons or some shit.

However much of a fuckwad their owner might be, though, you can’t fault Xvideo’s backlog. They’ve got a massive 8 million videos in their archives, or roughly the number of sperm I waste every time I visit this site.

Design Of The Site

The homepage is like any porn site, with a bunch of thumbnails showing off the hottest vids that day. Given where we are in 2022, that probably means a bunch of slutty step-sisters and step-moms getting raw-dogged on the sofa.

If you’re after something specific, the search function does exactly what you might expect. Just type in “Brazilian midget nympho farts in sub’s mouth” and the sight will spit back a bunch of results quicker than you can drop trou. Probably not for that particular search though, you fucking weirdos. Watch incest porn like the rest of us apparently do.

You’ve also got trends for your particular country listed in the sidebar, and the standard array of categories to choose from (not Brazilian midget fart porn though, LET IT GO).

Content Of The Site

Speaking of categories, Xvideos has everything you might expect. Amateur, anal, fisting, creampie, fucked up family (yes, this is a category. It’s 2022, of course it is), teacher, furry (and I thought the Brazilian midget fart enthusiasts were fucking weird), nympho, dick flashing – pretty much any niche you can imagine is covered. If it exists as porn (and as Rule 34 proves, everything exists as porn) then XVideos has it.

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer volume of content, it could be you need some pointers. That’s OK, I’m a generous guy as long as you’re not trying to jerk it to human-shaped foxes or whatever. Their most popular categories are hentai (you’re not furries but you’re close, weebs, don’t email me), mature and lesbian. You can’t really go wrong with anything in those sections (except hentai, but everything that’s gonna go wrong already has there).

OK But How Much Dick-Flashing Content Is There?

Dick-flashing has, like a dude with a really hot step-daughter, really come into its own recently. Whether it’s some married Filipina maid walking in on a hotel guest or it’s some dude on the bus flashing a co-ed who then drains his balls, dick-flashing is all the rage. Any porn site worth its salt should have a meaty collection of dick-flashing content to hand.

I’m happy to report that XVideos doesn’t drop the ball on dropping balls. They’ve got more than 150k videos dedicated to the fine art of what the Japanese call “pubric masturbation” (it’s like a different language), and you can find whatever your particular dick-flashing poison is. Just a look at the first page of hits has all kinds of fucked up shit, from drivers flashing passersby to that old mainstay of hotel maids sucking dudes off. They’ve even got some pregnant slut waxing the pole of a guy in the swimming pool.

Desktop/Mobile Experience Of XVideos

XVideos is one of the oldest games in town, so it knows its shit when it comes to streaming its vids to both desktop and smartphone.

One of the greatest things about XVideos is that, unlike dick-flashers, it’s not in your face. By that I mean it’s not forcing ads down your throat like they’re throbbing cocks; you can pause a video and you won’t end up with a bunch of pop-ups for dick pumps or Viagra, and you can rewind without getting the same thing. This is really important because nothing kills a boner like a bunch of dumb fucking commercials forcing their way in like a Filipina maid trying to change the bedsheets.

The video player itself is great. It’s smooth as my balls, straightforward to use, and tends not to start in with that buffering that can kill the world’s biggest erection. You can scrub back and forth through that video as much as you likely without so much as a stutter most of the time.

On mobile, I’d argue it’s better than PornHub. The previews load faster and look better, and the design and layout is just cleaner. If you’re on the move and need to jerk off, I’d pick XVideos over PornHub.

Benefits Of Creating An Account

XVideos’ account option is definitely worth considering. You can do nifty stuff like download videos for later perusal (handy for wanking on the move) and you can even upload vids if you want to share your smut with the world.

There’s also a premium account option called XVideos Red. It’s $10 a month and gives you an ad-free experience and access to some videos that the rank and file won’t get to see. These extra vids are all in HD so you don’t need to worry about nasty 360p shit clogging up your page.

What I Like About The Site

XVideos is pretty fucking good to the point you have to wonder why it’s only the #2 porn site in the world. It does have banner ads and the like, but the fact that there’s no ads at all when pausing or rewinding videos is a great feature. It makes sure that XVids doesn’t break the cardinal sin of jerking off – ruining my nut.

XVideos is just a really clean experience too, whether on mobile or desktop. There’s no clutter or stupid shit up in your face when you’re just trying to jerk off, and everything loads quickly and cleanly. Some sites can be a real pain in the ass loading vids in (particularly on mobile), so it’s nice to have something just load when you’ve only got 5 minutes in the train bathroom to bust one out.

I also loved the amount of content on display. Doesn’t matter if you want to jerk it to Korean K-pop starlets or watch step-mom get her throat stretched, you can find it on XVideos. Categories are well organized and it’s easy to use the search function to get to the good stuff that much quicker.

What I Don’t Like About The Site

This is gonna be a pretty short list, because XVideos isn’t bad at all, but you could argue that some of the videos are of pretty shit quality. Some of the amateur stuff is only 360p. This isn’t so common that it particularly stands out, but nobody needs to be seeing 360p like we’re back in 1997 trying to bust a nut to the 10-minute freeview.

There’s almost no exclusive content on the site, either, nor all that many benefits for XVideo Red. That might be a dealbreaker for those Richie Rich types out there who like to pay hundreds of dollars a month for premium shit, but who cares when there’s so much quality stuff on the site that’s 100% free?

Suggestions For The Site

If I was that French Diablo-playing pussy that owns XVideos, I’d be feeling pretty fucking good about myself (but playing less Diabo II). The only thing I’d really fix about the site is the shitty 360p vids that get uploaded. Maybe set a ground level of 760p before people upload, so we can all avoid feeling like we’re back in our 90s bedroom terrified of Mom walking in mid-nut (unless that’s your thing. I don’t judge. Unless you’re a furry or a weeb).

More exclusive content wouldn’t hurt the free user, either, and might attract a few billionaire genius Twitter CEOs or something.

Conclusion

XVideos is a pretty good experience overall, with only a few things that stand out as needing a little improvement. When it comes to mobile, I take it every time over Pornhub. There’s not much between the two sites, but XVideos definitely has the edge for me when it comes to the mobile experience.

If you’re someone who likes paying for their porn, you’re not going to find that much extra to sweeten the pot. But let’s be real – there are so many paid porn options out there that you could be Jeff Bezos and spend your entire fortune before you bought every one of them. When it comes to good-quality free shit, you can’t really beat XVideos. Just avoid those nasty 360p vids some of the amateurs like uploading, and you’ll be beating your meat to primo dick-flashing content all day long.