I Need A Mommy

I often think of my readers as my children. This is for multiple reasons. First off, much like a young child, you guys are dumb and useless. There is very little you know how to do, and you must be guided through the rest. You aren't even great at doing the activities you love most. I bet your stroke game is terrible. There are arm amputees that masturbate better than you.

Second, you have no idea how to interact with the opposite and fairer sex. The last time you communicated with a lady that wasn't related to you, you were in grade school, and it was a teacher.

Third, you fuckers are beta cucks. You need someone else to make the decisions in your life, or you'll fall apart at the seams. Left to your own devices, you'll be dead in a month. It's up to people like your parents and me to ensure you stay alive.

Over the years, this inadequacy has built up inside you to become a fetish. An adult baby diaper fetish. Or, as I like to call it, the type of fetish that even feet guys look down upon. I can't think of any fetishists who don't laugh at this shit.

I don't know what happened in your life that brought you to the reading of this article, but I'm sorry. Life isn't fair. If the only way you can get relief is to revert back to before you were sentient, then so be it. That said, I'm going to roast you for it. The thing is you guys like being roasted for it. You know how silly what you're doing is, and being made fun of only reinforces the fantasy.

You guys couldn't get a blind limbless, mentally disabled nugget midget to fuck you missionary style, so you definitely won't ever find a woman to mother you and suck your cock. You'll have to stick to living out these fantasies in your head. To help inspire your imagination, I suggest a trip to INeedaMommy.

What the Fuck?

What is I Need a Mommy all about? The name says it all. I Need a Mommy is a site dedicated to mommies willing to care for useless baby men. These bitches are few and far between, so cherish each slut on this site. Ordinary women want a strong man who can protect them. That description couldn't be less you if it tried.

The bitches on I Need a Mommy can fend for themselves just fine. It's you that needs the help. They will be your new virtual caretakers. Make sure you listen to them carefully and follow their direction. You wouldn't want to be put in time out, would you?

Is there sex on I Need a Mommy? Not in the traditional sense. The videos are focused on Mommies providing general care for you. They change diapers, clean you up, powder your bottom, breastfeed you, and keep you in line. However, some videos feature a Hitachi wand being used over a diaper to make men cum.

Are the bitches on I Need a Mommy professional adult baby mommies? They are not, but some are actual moms. I'd say that gives them more than enough experience. Some of the other featured mommies have been dominatrixes in a past life. I'd say that also counts as experience in the field.

What is the best way to enjoy these videos? The site suggests that you make yourself a little nest out of your favorite blanket. Once that is set, fill it with diapers, baby powder, baby wipes, baby clothing, and baby food. The mommies deliberately move slowly so you can follow along with the video.

The web design on I Need a Mommy fits the theme well. The background is pink and baby blue and features pictures of diaper safety pins and binkies. If it weren't for the occasional titty popping out, you might think it's a child's site at first. However, it most certainly is not.

The main menu sits at the top of the site and contains the options About, Join now to download, Members only log in, More adult baby links, and contact info.

Cough it Up, Baby Bitch

I Need a Mommy is a paid premium porn website. The mommies here need to be paid extra to humiliate themselves working with the likes of you sad fucks. That money has to come from somewhere, so it's coming from you. Think of it as an allowance reversal. 

They only have one membership plan to offer as of the writing of this article. It's a one-month membership for $29.99 that will recure at $24.99 each month after. 

Those unwilling to pay a monthly fee can buy individual clips on the I Need a Mommy store on Clips 4 Sale. I have reviewed that site before, and it's fantastic.

Speaking of clips, let's check out the content on I Need a Mommy starting with "Mommy Loves her Big Baby Boy," starring Goddess Brandon and Lizzy Lamb.

Baby Batter Sitter

Your stepmom is leaving for the weekend and doing her final checks to make sure you will be safe. As she does shit like check your diaper and refills supplies, she is also teaching Lizzy how to care for you since she will be watching you while your mommy is gone. 

The first and most important lesson is how to check your diaper and change it when it's messy. Your diapers are currently clean, so your mommy encourages you to shit yourself, so Lizzy can learn how to change you correctly. 

Needless to say, it's incredibly embarrassing to be stared at by two sexy women while you're trying to shit yourself. It's not a situation many people find themselves in. Mommy can tell you're nervous, so she tells you to push like she's a midwife and you're giving birth to a burrito baby. 

After a struggle, you are able to make boom boom, but before the changing happens, MILF Brandon wants Lizzy to use a Hitachi wand to make you cum in your shit-filled diapers. What a delicious combo. Mommy just wants to make sure that all of your ducts are empty before putting a fresh nappy on you.

Once that is said and done, it's time for the stinky part. You filled those bad boys to the brim with Mexican food shits. Yet, despite how disgusting you are, Lizzy is able to keep her shit together (pun intended) and get you changed.

Once you're changed, Goddess Brandon leaves the room to pack, leaving you alone with Lizzy. The moment Brandon is out of earshot, she starts making fun of you for being such a little pussy. 

You Had an Oopsie

Moving on, we have "Pissy Pants Boy - Forced into Diaper," Starring Anastasia Rose and Luna Dawn. You're attending a camp for college-aged adults when your councilors walk into your cabin and discover that you have a large wet spot on your bed sheets. That is a big no-no, mister.

Luckily, it was Anastasia who caught you. She is very sweet and caring. The head counselor, on the otherhand, is a complete bitch. You beg Ana not to call you out, but she says it's her job and that she must alert Luna. 

When Luna arrives, she and Ana step away to discuss what to do about the situation. You wish you could put in your two cents, but you can't hear what they are saying. When the two finally return, they are holding diapers and baby powder. You're going to have to spend the rest of your time at camp wearing a fucking diaper. Once again, not a situation men find themselves in very often.

They decide that Ana will be in charge of diapering you, but all the councilors will be charged with keeping an eye out for when you make a mess. They don't want you running around, playing flag football, and getting a diaper rash because you're having too much fun to change.

This will be Ana's first time ever putting a diaper on a grown man, so Luna stands close by to provide guidance, tips, and tricks. Once your diaper is adequately secured, Ana looks over and sees your pink vibrating wand tucked in the corner. You've been very good about letting Ana diaper you, so she rewards you by pressing it against your thick diaper and making you cum.

I Need a Mommy isn't for everyone. In fact, it's for very few people, and that's for the best. If the world were filled with adult baby diaper fetishists, human progress would grind to a halt. We wouldn't develop another rocket ship for a thousand years.

My primary complaint about I Need a Mommy is the lack of membership options. They only offer the one-month, and that's it. I'd like to see three-month, six-month, and one-year options.

Alright, you baby fags. You're free to go jerk off to your heart's content on I Need a Mommy.