Reddit Happy Ending Massage

Every time I tell myself that I’ve seen everything that sexual fetishism has to provide, you fuckers throw me for a loop and, well, you manage to surprise me. Every single time I tell myself that I have my finger on the porn loving community’s pulse, I recall a fucked-up memory that I’ve managed to suppress for the longest time. It doesn’t help that I have to actually review places like /r/HappyEndingMassage. Don’t get me wrong, this place isn’t pushing the envelope on fucked up content or whatever. It’s actually centered around one of the tamest sexual acts known to man. It’s a bit of a spectrum, actually. These boys are obsessed with edging, petting, groping, rubbing, the occasional handjob and of course, regular-ass massages. In case you grew up in a cave, I’ll explain – a happy ending is an orgasm at the end of a classic massage. The type of massage is irrelevant as long as you get to blow your load at the end. This is an entire subreddit devoted to that specific fetish.

I used to think that the passion behind happy endings was a desperation tactic for lonely losers who can’t get laid otherwise. Boy, was I wrong. Apparently, these perverts are exclusively in love with the idea of blowing their load during a massage, so much so that other types of smut and sexual indulgence are inferior to them. They are singularly obsessed with massages. I haven’t seen anything like this before. I mean, happy endings are very close to handjobs, logistically speaking. And yet, these dudes don’t discuss handjobs. They don’t give a flying fuck about handjobs. Even if a handjob is somehow a part of a scenario, the dudes on /r/HappyEndingMassage want the whole ensemble. If there’s no massage table and proper rubdown, they aren’t fapping.

No Porn in Sight

The sad fact about /r/HappyEndingMassage is that this place doesn’t contain any smut. There are two types of subreddits when it comes to sexual fetishes – the smutty and the discussive. This is a discussive sub with no overlap. There is no smut to be found on here. /r/HappyEndingMassage is all about bringing related fetishists together. So, if you are obsessed with happy endings exclusively and you’re tired of feeling like a freak, you can come here and be a freak with other people. Depravity loves company and communal affirmation. If everyone is a freak then no-one is a freak. So, by all means, reaffirm your insane notions of sexual interaction by talking to other men who are exactly as fucked up as you are in all the exact same ways. This is totally healthy behavior.

Luckily, no-one’s spouting any controversial beliefs on here. For the most part, these dudes discuss their past experiences with massages, with the rest of the men talking about how they’d like to pop their massage cherry. A lot of the dudes on here have never had a happy ending massage, but they’re dying for it, so they make do for now by reading about other people’s experiences and generally asking for help and advice. They don’t know how to broach the subject. Or, maybe they want some input on common happy ending etiquette. Just how do you go about asking for a naughty massage? That’s what gets discussed here. Sure, if you’re dating a bitch who’s open-minded you could just have her play out the role, that’s easy enough. But, what about actual masseuses? How do you manage to romance them to the point that they’re willing to give you the full monte? Also, how immoral is it? There’s all kinds of debate potential on here and you’ll find all the answers and opinions on /r/HappyEndingMassage. If anything, these dudes love to talk.

Rubbing is the New Sucking

I’m trying to wrap my head around the overall sexual appeal of a lewd massage, while differentiating it from a regular handjob. If I’m getting this correctly, there’s beauty in the separation between client and masseuse. There’s a certain play there. The men like being inferior, but only in one specific corporal context. They want to lie down and be taken, or so it seems. There’s not a lot of call for gender role swapping. No-one here mentioned cucking, sucking or pegging from what I could see. They just want to have their cocks softly dominated by small and preferably young women. Thai girls get mentioned a lot for what it’s worth.

I think that this is because there’s that global trend of Thai massage parlors as a cultural element. They exist pretty much everywhere and you can go get a quality ethnic rubdown to soothe what ails you. As for the happy ending, well, I don’t know what to tell you. You’ll have to go to /r/HappyEndingMassage to find out more. Personally, when I get my back rubbed by a professional, I tend to zone the fuck out on account of all the back pain that I’m glad to be rid of. I don’t think much of happy endings. I’d rather just take a nap. That being said, I can see the appeal of busting a nut while being rubbed, because that’s what life is all about. Bust all the nuts you want, I don’t care. Just make sure to follow the rules. You don’t want to get in trouble for simply being yourself.

Repetitive, but Active

What I really don’t like about this place is that the lack of smut makes the discussions a bit repetitive. I mean, I’m all for people talking about their kinks and passions, but not if it means I see the exact same post hundreds of times over, because these dudes are essentially jacking off to the idea of people reading their nonsensical gibberish questions. Half of the posts on here are by dudes that have had a happy ending and the other half, well, you get the idea. All they talk about is either the experience they’ve had or the experience they want. This sounds like it covers 100% of the possible content, but it ends up reading exactly the same. Unless you happen to get a post from a pervert who also happens to be a creative writer, the shit’s going to feel very repetitive. You’ll get déjà vu a lot on this sub. Trust me.

The upside is the overall activity. There are regulars on here. They aren’t that plentiful, but they are truly active. They come back regularly and keep posting and replying, especially if you have something poignant to say. On top of that, reading through the sub’s backlog while sorting by top or controversial is going to teach you a lot about the sub itself but also about the fetish. You can see where the community agrees and disagrees and to what extent these arguments run.

You’re Welcome

This is arguably the best way to insert yourself into a virtual community of perverts if you have zero experience with the topic. It also needs to be said that /r/HappyEndingMassage is built around a very obscure fetish that you might not even know you have. You need to read through some of these experiences to figure out whether this truly is your cup of tea. I really don’t think it’s a fetish for everyone. There are considerations in order. For example, the standard scenario involves a lot of touching received from a person that you do not know at all, with no communication and no quid pro quo. It’s a one-way interaction. That in itself is enough to make this a very niche fetish. I know you might think that men are pretty much down for any interaction with any woman at all times, but that’s just not the case. I mean, it is with me, because I’m the Alpha and the Omega of pussy worshipping. Men tend to crave a connection as well.

Hell, if you do end up getting a happy ending massage you might feel the natural human need to cuddle afterwards. You can’t do that. You can’t kiss them goodbye; you can’t tell them how you feel about them. They’re massage therapists. They’re just doing their job. These people are not your girlfriends and they certainly don’t feel emotionally connected to you, no matter how you might feel in the moment. Remember that this is a fetish built around a disconnect between two individuals. There’s no real kinship here. Don’t fall in love with your masseuse is what I’m trying to say. You’re more than welcome to ask her out outside of her working ours, but while you’re getting rubbed down, you’re a massage client and nothing more.