XNXX Massage

Massages and fucking go hand in hand, and there is no shortage of porn videos out there where a normal massage quickly gets hot and heavy and ends up with some oily Asian chick slip-and-sliding down a dude’s dick.

It’s relatable porn because who hasn’t been for a massage that ended up with your crank getting yanked? You basically can’t go to Chinatown without falling over a masseuse trying to suck your dick for you.

I don’t wanna be accused of being racially insensitive, though, so let’s make sure we cover our bases here: masseuses of all different races are sluts. Which is great news for both massage and porn enthusiasts, as we have a lot of material to work with. 

Which brings us to XNXX.com, and its extensive variety of massage porn.

History Of XNXX.com

XNXX.com is a new kid on the block compared to some of the more established names in internet porn.

Founded in 2000, the site gets around 2.6 billion hits a month.

XNXX is able to boast around 9.6 million videos, which is certainly nothing to sniff at, and there’s a lot of prime fuckin’ filth amongst those vids, both on and off the massage table.

Design Of The Site

For some unfathomable reason, the XNXX.com folk have gone with an unsightly blue color scheme for their website. It’s definitely a choice, but I can’t say that it’s one I agree with. It’s not particularly easy on the eye, is all I’m saying, so let’s hope their girls are.

Beyond the color of the site, all the standard porn tube bells and whistles are present and accounted for. The navigational tools are minimalist and tucked away for the most part, and there are almost no ads (banner or sidebar) as you browse, which pretty much makes up for the questionable color scheme.

At the top you’ve got a categories button (which only pops out if you click on it) and a bunch of other options: pictures, sex stories (for those fucking weirdos who’d rather read about sex than just watch it), sex games, and a link to XNXX Gold (the site’s premium option). It’s clean and functional – no complaints here.

Videos are tagged with their resolution, how many hits they’ve had, and what they’ve been rated. There’s also a quick-loading video preview if you hover over it. This makes it nice and easy to see if you wanna bother with a video before clicking through.

XNXX.com also has a regular search bar function that can make finding the sort of vids you want quick and painless. It has suggested searches and finds individual performers pretty easily. There’s not much in the way of filters, though, so don’t go expecting anything next-level here, like applying multiple filters to narrow down your results. It does the job to a basic function, and that’s it.

Content Of The Site

If you’re into your massage videos, then you are in luck, my friends. XNXX.com has almost 80,000 free massage videos (and another 8k Gold for premium members). There is essentially a bottomless amount of content for the discerning erotic massage wankster.

I guess most massage porn videos lean towards the professionals because I didn’t see much in the way of amateur content. The vast majority of these ladies (and gents) are taking a check to take a dick. Of course, this means much higher production values, so you can’t complain.

Although, there is some amateur content if you look hard enough. But it’s usually low quality because it’s often filmed by guys using a “CIA-approved” pen camera they bought off Craigslist then covertly recording the middle-aged masseuse as she awkwardly tugs his cock and covers him in his own jizz. Thanks, but I’ll stick to the professionally made massage smut!

Something that struck me as sort of weird, given the subgenre, is the number of women getting massaged instead of guys. Around 60% of the massage hits on the first page are dudes massaging girls before fucking them.

I don’t particularly have an issue with this, but the common fantasy most dudes are looking for is that they’re getting a hot massage that turns sexy. I’m guessing there aren’t many male masseurs out there watching this shit and getting their rock off to it, but I could be wrong.

Anyway, who gives a shit – the bottom line is that there are plenty of hoy massage porn vids to choose from. There’s girls massaging guys, guys massaging girls (lots), girls massaging girls, Asian chicks, black chicks, white chicks, couples – you name it, someones getting lathered up and fucked. It’s really pretty inspiring when you think about it.

Quality-wise, XNXX.com’s massage vids are a mixed bag. I saw a lot of 780p and 1080p vids, but there were also a handful of 360p turds that somehow made it past XNXX’s hardworking QA department. One of those was a pretty fuckin’ hot Japanese teen getting massaged and fucked though, so it really depends on where your priorities lie, I guess.

The video player itself is decent. It loads in fast, scrubs fast and doesn’t bombard you with a bunch of annoying ads. You may get a brief (10-second) ad when loading into a video for the first time, but there are no pause ads, which is always nice to see.

There is a sidebar ad, but this is easily ignored by putting your vid on full-screen. A few videos have a pretty irritating voiceover that tries to redirect you to their parent site, but you can’t really blame XNXX.com for what content creators do.

It’s possible to download videos, but you need to create an account to do that. When they stream as fast and reliably as they do anyway, it’s not a huge deal unless you’re hoarding this shit for a rainy day.

Desktop/Mobile Experience

The site does the job on a desktop. Whatever your take on the color, it’s clean, accessible and functional. There are ads (aren’t there always?), but they’re not in your face and are easily ignored or bypassed. The vids are available in a good selection of resolutions and load nice and fast, making for a smooth and stress-free desktop experience.

Mobile isn’t too bad either, though that sidebar ad I mentioned gets replaced with an animated banner ad above the video that can get distracting. All in all, though, it gets the job done when it comes to the videos themselves, which load in fast and scrub fine on mobile too.

What I Like About The Site

The site is a decent second-stringer porn site that hits all the right notes. It’s got a good selection of videos (especially massage videos), the videos load in nice and fast, and there are a lot of HD vids. I also liked that ads, though obviously around, weren’t in your face and didn’t really interfere with watching the videos.

The categories and search functions are on point, if not exactly setting the world on fire with innovation. Nine times out of ten, though, you really want to find a video and get to jerking off, so it does what you need it to do.

Erotic massage sex stories aren’t my thing, but it’s a nice little bonus part of the site if that’s what you’re into. They’re mostly community sourced, and it’s always good to see a porn site embracing and engaging with its community. So if you wanna read all about some guy called Big Mike’s trip to China Palace Massage downtown, he’ll tell you all about it in a spelling mistake-strewn story. You can’t blame him; he is typing one-handed.

What I Don’t Like About the Site

I don’t mean to flog a dead horse (the only thing looked to get flogged around here is my junk), but the site just looks a bit tacky. Like 2003-era grainy 120p videos tacky. This doesn’t extend to the videos themselves, but the color scheme and everything just don’t look very polished.

Again, the filters and search options could be a little more in-depth, too. They’re not the worst thing in the world, and maybe other sites have spoiled me, but it’s a pain having to put that little bit more effort into finding the vids that do it for me.

Suggestions I Have For The Site

I think it’s probably become obvious over the course of this review, but I really have only two suggestions for the site.

One, lose that garish tacky-ass color scheme. Two, tighten up those search functions. The quicker I find the shit I like, the more likely I am to stay on your website. XNXX.com isn’t obliged to take advice from a sexy alpha male like me, of course, but they’ll go far in life if they do.

Conclusion

You can’t really argue with the quality of XNXX.com’s massage section. It’s got a decent selection of videos (a lot of which are HD), and it doesn’t break the golden rule of porn sites, which is don’t fuck with my wank.

If it changed up a couple of things (I don’t like repeating myself, so I won’t), then it would be up there with the big boys.

If nothing else, there’s a huge selection of variety just within the massage category alone. If that’s your thing, you’ll be jerking off for months (if not years).