xMidget

Bitches come in all different sizes and shapes, and I love almost all of them. I'll fuck a tall amazonian cunt as quickly as I'll fuck some tiny Pocket-Polly bitch. I find sexy in all varients of women.

Does that mean I'm fucking one of those bitches in "My 600 Pound Life" that has fat hanging off of her forehead? Fuck no. Does it mean I'm fucking a seven-foot bodybuilder with arms like John Cena and a clit like Shaqs index finger? Also, fuck no. It means that I'll fuck midgets and Wonder Woman. There's a big difference there.

An often revered female trait is height. Bitches tend to be shorter than guys are, and both men and women like the setup. Women enjoy feeling protected by a big strong man, and men want to throw bitches around in the bedroom.

I have readers of all sizes, but you're all nearly exclusively betas. It doesn't matter how large or muscular a dude is if he turns out to be a big bitch. I've seen plenty of big dudes get their asses whooped before by small alphas. It happens every day.

Your guys' experience is a bit tainted, so don't think that everything I say applies to your situation necessarily. Trying to protect a bitch might get you dumb motherfuckers killed. I don't need to read about a string of murder victims who are all Porndude fans. It's bad for my image.

Midgets Make the Man

However, no matter your size or disposition, we can all feel like superheroes around a midget. Medician defines anyone under four foot ten as a midget. Well, they don't use the term midget anymore, but it's so much more fun to say than dwarf. I'm not even sure that you're supposed to call them dwarfs, so if I'm going down, either way, I'm going down swinging.

Midgets have a special place in porn. It's a common trope used in comedy shows and movies because it's objectively funny. We all have our cross to bear in this world, and being funny to see in porn is the dwarfs. I say they wear it well.

You can find midgets on almost any porn tube site, but most of that shit is jokey. If you want real sexy midget content, then you have to visit a dedicated midget site. A site that realizes the true potential of fucking the brains out of a midget. 

A site like Xmidget. Xmidget is a tube-based porn site that looks like the pornhub of minuscule cunts. They definitely snatch several design cues from the place. I'm trying to figure out what their mascot symbol is. It sort of looks like one of Santa's elves dressed up as a member of Daft Punk for Holloween. 

The first thing I'll say about the aesthetic is that I love the dark background. Who watches midget porn in the middle of the day? Midget porn is best left to the late night and early morning. Let the sun shine down on people watching tall folks' porn.

The main menu hangs out up top and includes the options Home, Midget porn stars, Tags, Extreme porn, Hentai porn, Pissing tube, and search bar. The Pissing tube, Hentai porn, and Extreme porn options are all links to sister sites. 

Globalist Midget Propaganda

Down the left side are several filters to help you find the midget content you are so desperately in need of. First is language. English speakers aren't the only perverted motherfuckers that want to watch midgets fuck. XMidget offers its site in ten languages, including Spanish, Dutch, French, Polish, Italian, Portuguese, and Ukrainian.

Below that is a content filter with the options Newest, Best, Most Viewed, Longest, and Random. Personally, I love the random filter. It's like reaching into a box of mystery chocolates where all the chocolates blow cocks and eat scrum.

Next up is porn stars. Not every porn star listed is a midget. Some are midget fuckers, such as Mandingo. Although I would understand if science decided to label Mandingos dong a full-grown midget. Honestly, it might be taller than four foot ten.

For those wondering, no, he does not fuck a dwarf. Instead, he fucks a regular-sized bitch while a dwarf watches. Why is that, you ask? Because why the fuck not. The midget was probably on set as a gaffer or some shit, and Mandigo figured he would look good in the corner as a masturbating lamp.

The final filter on the XMidget home page is a tag list. Displayed are the ten most popular tags, but a complete listing can be reached with the "all tags" button. The complete list is fucking massive. XMidget did an excellent job labeling and organizing its content. It's such an underappreciated aspect of a modern porn site. 

The rest of the site is loaded with thumbnails of thumb-sized cunts getting blown out like a fuel line. The first row contains all the most recently released content. Below that is all the most viewed content. Let's check out what is waiting for us.

I understand why "Tickle Fight - Giant Vs. Small" is such a popular video. Who could stop themselves from clicking on that title? The title doesn't lie. It's an amazonian sized she hulk Vs. a pint-sized peanut. The midget doesn't have any hope to win today.

Every now and again, the giantess lets little homie get a couple of licks in, but otherwise, the match is very one-sided. The one thing I'll say that sucks about this video is that they don't get fully naked. You guys know how much I love naked bitches.

"Dwarf Short Texie Fucking Her New Guard Sex Tape" is only a clip, so we don't get much of the storyline. My guess is that Short Texie fucks all of her new security guards so they can pay attention at work without wondering what it would be like to fuck her. 

The clip starts with her slobbing on that knob but at about a minute in, she scoots up to hold the dick against her torso. It almost goes all the way up to her nips. When you fuck Texie, you actually get in a bitches guts. What a beautiful thing.

The Story of Big Bertha and Tiny Tina

"Biggest Fleshy Lady has a Lesbian Affair with a Sexy Midget Chick" is a wild ride from start to finish. Things start with Bertha thundering into the room with a midget on her back. For the sake of the story, let's call this midget bitch Tina. Eventually, Bertha goes down on all fours and allows Tina to ride on her back like a horse. Lesbian sex is weird.

That was a bit too much movement for Bertha, so she lays down on the couch while the dwarf strips her of all her garments. Tiny Tina kicks things off with some simple nipple sucking. The titty that nipple is attached to probably weighs as much as Tina's whole body.

After a couple of minutes, Tina makes her way toward the cooter. I have to give Tina credit here. Bertha is one of those big bitches that look like she stinks. There's no way that pussy smells like rose water on a gentle summer breeze. Instead, it smells like Cheeto encrusted catfish pancreas. I wouldn't get my tongue within thirty feet of that shit without a hazmat suit on.

Regardless, Tiny Tina presses forward like her paycheck depends on it. Bertha seems to be having the time of her life. I bet she took on this project pro bono. She's only there to do the lord's work.

Eventually, Tiny Tina crawls up mount Bertha, and they begin to sixty-nine. From what I can tell, Tina was nice enough to bleach her asshole. I can't see Bertha's asshole past all of the adipose tissue, but I'll bet my life that not only is it unbleached, but it's dirty.

Bertha does repay the favor a bit by letting Tina sit on her face. I would say that it's a small consolation prize considering what it cost her. I hope they paid Tiny Tina overtime or hazard pay. She earned that shit.

Let's be honest with ourselves real quick. Fuck the woke bastards. Fuck offending anybody. Midgets are fun to have sex with. That's just a fact of life people will have to get used to. Until a stock of breeding midgets we can all share is developed, most people will have to settle for midget porn. And if you're going to watch midget porn anyway, why not make it the best?

One thing that I always find myself wanting for on XMidget is the performer's names. There aren't a shit ton of big names here, but there are still bitches I want to see more of. 

Get your fix of Tiny Tina and head over to XMidget now.