SpankBang Pegging

Back in 1997, James Euringer of Mindless Self Indulgence called the art of homosexual anal penetration “the best ultrasex”. These were song lyrics, you see, to a song whose name I cannot repeat in this review as it is a slur for gay men. It starts with F. No, not fairy, the other one. Anyways, in this song, Mr. Euringer posits that it is unfair that he, as a straight man, is left out of the pleasures of deep anal satisfaction. He only gets to penetrate women, but no-one penetrates him. And, as he is not interested in men, it is difficult for him to gain access to prostatic pleasures. In short, if you’re a man and you’re not gay, it’s unlikely you’ll ever get fucked in the ass and this is what we call anti-cis-male discrimination.

Luckily, mankind has discovered a cure in the form of a later, supplemented form of sexual satisfaction that requires a manufactures strap-on penis and a woman who is willing to play “daddy” for an evening. I promise I’ll stop sounding like a Sunday morning newspaper eventually. I’m in a mood, just bear with me. There are only so many ways you can review pegging porn before you quite literally run out of words in the English language. And, as I try not to repeat myself, you can only imagine the pain I’m in. Plus, I don’t have any women around who are willing to peg me, so I’m basically stuck in a nightmare. They all want me to fuck them in the ass, but when it’s my turn, they pretend that they’re asleep. It’s not easy being a straight male, I’ll say that much.

Many Ways to Tickle a Prostate

Welcome to SpankBang! Let’s pretend for a moment that you’ve never heard of this site, even though it’s literally one of the most popular online destinations and it’s been this popular for many years. SpankBang is a porn site. Surprise, surprise. This site offers free videos a’ plenty. There’s no limit to their backlog and they add new shit onto their roster on the daily. Whether you’re here for the pegging videos, or you want to dive in blindly, you’ll find what you’re looking for. There, I’m done simping for SpankBang. Let’s get back to the part of the review that matters – the pegging.

SpankBang has a wealth of pegging videos in all kinds of combinations and permutations of cocks and assholes. Let’s get one thing straight here. Pegging presupposes a fake penis that has been strapped onto a human, being inserted into the asshole of another human. Self-pegging is called anal masturbation and fucking someone else’s asshole with a handheld dildo is called anal penetration. It’s only pegging if it ticks all the boxes. But, what about genders? That’s where it gets interesting.

Men and Women in Anal Harmony

All genders are welcome to partake in the art of pegging, as long as they’re willing to use a fake penis. Even a dude with a boner can provide pegging to someone else, as long as he’s willing to tuck away the cock and strap on a fake one. Pegging really is that fucking inclusive. The only form of pegging that is excluded on SpankBang is the kind that features two men and no woman. That’s gay shit. That doesn’t belong under the straight section. But, at the same time, a man taking it up the ass is perfectly straight porn, as long as the person providing the cock is a chick.

I’ve been pegged before and the whole point behind that endeavor was to get a chick to wreck my prostate so I can have a super-orgasm. I wasn’t really thinking about the implications of female domination and my personal submission – mostly because I don’t give a shit either way. I have a giant ego, a massive penis and a very short attention span for roleplaying bullshit. As long as I’m shooting loads, I’m happy. That being said, a lot of men out there seem to care way too much about power dynamics.

Doms, Subs and Power Bottoms

Women, as we know, are also unnecessarily receptive to this kind of bullshit. They care about who’s in charge and who’s providing the torque during the ass-fucking. This whole shpiel reminds me of that one episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia when Mac keeps going around telling people that he’s a power bottom, lest people believe he’s the inferior type of gay. It’s absurd as fuck. If you’re gonna get fucked in the ass, do it because it feels good, not to prove a political point, you imbecile.

Me, I am the caterer of imbecilic expectation, so I always have to play along. Therefore, here you go: On SpankBang you’ve got every kind of domination and submission in oddly interesting pairings that offer a lot of imagination and expert execution. I’m seeing some really original stuff on here. One video that really caught my eye was a proper wrestling clip between a man and a woman in which the chick has the dude caught in a bind and she’s pegging him while he’s completely helpless under her. This video combines all the beauty of male-submissive pegging with all the poetic dynamic action of actual wrestling. I’m a sucker for this kind of originality.

So Much Randomness

The content on SpankBang might all be hosted on the same site, but it definitely wasn’t put here by the same person. The production teams behind these videos could not be any less related to one another. You can tell this is the case from just about every single vibe that they give off. First of all, let’s acknowledge the fact that some of these videos are clearly retro as all hell, judging by the overall camera quality. These are old ass videos that were made long before I was in business. Then, you’ve got the more recent smut that reeks of mainstream western production. In-between, you’ll find some more independent productions. I’m not seeing any proper homemade smut, but the next best thing is definitely featured. These people are far from experienced.

There’s also a strange smattering of 3D rendered cartoon pegging that has made its way on SpankBang and I can’t for the life of me figure out who thought this would be hot to fap to. Then again, every time I say that, I discover a myriad of fuckers among you who are dying to fap to that particular form of content exclusively. I’ll learn my lesson some day and I’ll accept that for every bit of porn, no matter how terrible, there’s always an army of fappers ready and waiting with their boners in hand.

It Feels So Good

I’m currently reviewing SpankBang’s pegging section as one of many heterosexual kinks, since this is a straight site and all, but I have to say that out of all of the fetishes I’ve reviewed, this one is possibly the best at portraying straight men as gay. Make of that what you will – I don’t mean it as an insult. You’ve got countless videos on here that show men bending over and whinging like little girls while they take giant plastic cocks up their asses. This is the epitome of extreme submissive male play. I know that chicks are providing the cocks and all, but it’s not like it matters – the dudes can’t even see who’s giving them the cocks. Hell, if they didn’t check beforehand, you could finagle the argument that it doesn’t matter whether they’re being dicked by men or by women. I guess they’re proving the point that men are naturally prone to enjoying anal penetration, if they just dare to give it a shot.

I personally don’t like pegging porn too much on account of how I’d always rather receive this kind of pleasure rather than watching someone else experience it. Plus, the camera gives way too much screentime to the dudes in these videos. That’s a bit much for me. If there are going to be dudes in my porn, I only accept it if they’re kept as far away from the center of the screen as possible. I don’t want to be seeing any dudes while I’m jacking off. Sorry.

In conclusion, I hope you enjoyed reading this essay as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please go fuck yourselves – I mean, get someone else to fuck you with a synthetic cock. Same difference. I want you to enjoy yourselves. If you’re in the mood for a bottomless pit of high-quality pegging porn, you’ll find it on SpankBang. As for whether you’ll enjoy it, well, you just have to find your personal preference.