MilkPornTube

Milk Porn Tube! 'The milkman is coming, the milkman is coming! And he's cumming in your wife!' Now THAT would be a great catchphrase if there ever was a movie made for a milk man who goes around town leaving milk bottles and fucking housewives who are eager to fill up those bottles with their milk... That's right! You didn't expect that as a plot twist now did ya? Yeah, the ole TPD has a bit of Spielberg in him. Bit perverse and twisted but Spielbergish indeed. I could have been one of the greats had I decided to dedicate myself to this path but still, porn was my calling. Hate to disappoint you all, but you'll never see this movie come out, especially now that I've placed copyrights on this plot line. 

What inspired me to talk about milk and wives getting fucked? I guess it's obvious since you already saw the name of the porn site Milkporntube.com. You can hardly miss the point of this site when it has the word milk in it. Yes, it is a site with lactating women who get their breasts sucked by another person or by themselves, whichever they choose feels the best. The whole idea is a bit twisted if you ask me because here, you are playing with some basic biological and evolutionary sexuality, one that I'm pretty damn sure is not supposed to be cross mixed. Making breast milk sexual just makes it perverse. Oh, now I get it! Hmm, now that I think about it...Yeah, no, still it's too icky for me, but at least now that I contemplated it for about 7 seconds, I understand. Guess I'm doing a review of lactating women now. Oh well, it could be worse. It could be lactating men. Thank God it isn't.

From the start, things went in a downwards spiral

When I tried to take a look at the content that this free tube site has to offer I was met with disappointment. I clicked on the first video and all I got was a black blank page. I was surprised so I tried yet another one just to make sure that I didn't fuck up in some way. Again, the same thing happened. There was a fine print that said, If the video isn't showing, try disabling AdBlock/VPN. These motherfuckers had an idea that this was going to happen! That was low of them. I mean, why fuck around with people like this? I had to disable my ad blocker to accommodate these fuckers and now they got me pissed off because now I felt as if I was fucking a chick I don't know without a condom. Great job Milkporntube.com for making a user feel safe! Assholes!

When I finally entered the video I was immediately pushed back when I saw two giant torpedoes shooting milk out of their nipples in speedy spurts! Damn, that shit could have taken my head off it it wasn't just a porn video. And who the hell would call this a porn video anyway? When I shadow wiped my face thinking that I got hit by milk I returned to the video to actually check it out but the video started bugging on me. Once again I thought that it was me but this time it was in fact the site. They have all these weird affiliate links plastered all over the site for you to land on as if the site was a living and breathing affiliate land mine! This shit was ridiculous because I couldn't play the desired video so I left the page feeling ashamed and pissed off. What a combo!

If you managed to go around the ads please let me know how to do so

I still didn't want to give up on the videos because I wanted to see the type of content that these guys have. Once again, it was like I was in a nightmare that was repeating in circles and I was being made a dummy out of! I just couldn't hit the Play button the right way. Even when I did, a fucking affiliate link just appeared out of nowhere and I was made to watch this Chinese bullshit ad. There was a 10-second countdown to when the video was going to be played but that shit didn't work! I was so damn pissed off by this point that I was willing to shit all over the site because this is just fucking unacceptable! making a user LEAVE because he can't figure out how to go around the ads AFTER the Adblocker was down just seemed like a preplanned ploy to just show you ads. This shit sucked!

I just went on as if nothing happened to leave the videos without actually watching them. I managed to see like 5 seconds total out of the whole thing and even those were some amateur women squeezing their breasts where one woman has one boob smaller than the other one. What the fuck is that?! Are they gathering some weird disabled porn on Milkporntube.com now? One could easily come to this conclusion. Alright, so I have to deal with this shit right now. Fine. I will just move on to the other sections but after this shit show, I can tell that the rest will suck just the same.

Categories, the Models section, but don't get your hopes up

When there's nothing else left to do go to the Models section and start ranting from there. That's what I do when a site like this gives me shit. This is fucking ridiculous! I feel like I made a long trip to Alaska or something to buy a special fishing rod, just to see the store closed before its closing hours, I can see the store owner inside but he's just pretending as if he doesn't see me! That's how I feel now with Milkporntube.com. It was supposed to be a cool review of a site that had so much promise because they covered a niche that's very perverse and kinky and what do these motherfuckers do? They focus on fucking ads and they KNEW IT! Read the top part of this review if you have forgotten already!

I don't even want to go on reviewing Milkporntube.com. Fuck'em! If they can't get their shit together why must I make things look shiny for them? The categories are fine. If they really want to know, there aren't many. This should change. There should be more categories so that when a fan comes to this section right here has something to see. It is that visual abundance effect that a site has to have before anything else. 

The Model section has a vast selection of models who've starred in these videos. Allegedly, because I have no way of finding out. Once I entered the page of course they had the template for the Models to be filled out but they are just standing there blank. Some of the sections were filled out but mostly not. Think I was surprised? I expected this shit to be so. To make things worse, when you scroll down to the bottom of the page you get a nice gift in a form of huge man cocks just staring at you for being an idiot for thinking Milkporntube.com could be a good tube site. Thank you, but I don't want to see overly enhanced phalluses and I wasn't that fond of seeing lactating breasts either. 

There were also a couple of other sections of the site that I just didn't bother checking out. Find a breastfeeding partner is probably some dating bullshit app and Live Lactating Cam is their actuall hook that they are trying to promote and get some dollars out of the honest working pervs who came to this site to jack off to breasts that shoot milk out of their nipples. What are they going to get? Ads. Lots of it. I absolutely didn't like this site. Can you blame me? I can admit it, I was initially excited to check out the site. It's a freaky and pervy one and I like those kinds of sites. Milkporntube.com is just a front for ads. From the moment they strongarmed you into closing your Ads Blocker you were fucked in the ass by these ridiculous ads that had no rhyme to their reason. 5 out of 10.