AlohaTube Farting

What’s up, you dirty little degenerate!? Aren’t you a little tired of watching these cookie-cutter bimbos fuck like Christian youth leaders? I mean, how many times are you gonna watch the same blonde bitch fuck doggy style or missionary? There’s got to be more than that out there, right? Of course, there is! There are fetish porn videos that even a seasoned porn watcher couldn’t imagine! There are some rabbit holes that some guys never get out of, haha! We’re gonna stay away from those today…

No, today, I’m talking about something just a little less clean than your average HD Hollywood hoe getting dug out by some stud. Today, we’re delving into the world of fart porn. That’s right! You’re gonna need to download a VPN and keep that incognito open. If anyone finds out you’ve been beating your cock to fat asses farting in a camera, you’ll never be able to live it down! 

I knew a guy in college who had a collection of Brazillian fart porn. Let’s just say you should never leave your laptop unattended at a party full of drunk sophomores, haha! Those files were passed around like a girl in a gangbang! The next few semesters were hilarious! Even the guy’s professors made fart porn jokes in his lectures! Eventually, he just owned it! Haha! 

So, unless you wanna be the guy someone knew with a fart porn collection, keep that laptop hidden! And what better way to not leave a trace than our good old friend alohatube.com? This site is quickly becoming one of the best porn aggregators online! I would go as far as to put it in my personal top 5 porn aggregators. This site uploads quality videos from all over the internet every 5 minutes! 

You’ll never run out of any fart porn to fap to! That’s right, my friend! You’ve just hit the fucking jackpot! I bet you can’t wait to hear more! Well, let’s get right to it! 

Face Full of Fannies

One of my favorite things about Alohatube is the total lack of ads you’ll find on the page. Sure, the diarrhea brown with the purple might be a little offputting. (I think they were going for gold and purple… Is it just me that’s seeing diahrrea?) But that won’t matter when you’re browsing, uninterrupted, through thousands and thousands of the best amateur porn you can find online! 

There are so many videos to go through, you’ll feel like you’re using a premium service! But get this! You don’t even need to sign in! After landing on the site, you’ll receive one of the best browsing experiences absolutely free! 

As of right now, this site has over 7000 videos for you to browse through. A lot of these videos are taken from places even someone like me would never even think to look! I mean, think of that one video you found on some porn site you can’t even remember the name of. Sure, that video lives in your head rent-free, but the only way you can find that gem is by typing keywords into Google and hoping for the best. Now imagine literally millions of gems just like that pulled together in one place every 5 fucking minutes! 

But wait! There’s more! Unlike most porn aggregators out there, Alohatube also features thumbnail previews. None of the videos are exclusive to the site. So, don’t expect the same seamless video previews you’ll find on sites like Pornhub or Xvideos. You can also not expect the same shitty screenshot of a video with a title that comes up as a fucking tooltip! The thumbnail previews on this site come in the form of slideshows. So, while you won’t be able to try to speed run 7000+ videos (unless you’re really determined), you’ll have a pretty good idea of what you’ll be getting off to before you click. 

Beautifully Nasty Butt Stuff!!

I’ve mentioned this in some of my other Alohatube blogs. But dammit, I’ve got to mention it again! This site now features video playback on its own site! So, you’ll no longer have to beat your way through a bunch of useless ads on some third-rate porn site to get yourself off! (Did I mention that Alohatube is completely free?) Gone are the days of deciding if clicking on a hot thumbnail will cause your computer to freeze! As if this site couldn’t get any better! 

And get this! While most of the videos you find will be in SD, Alohatube also features a huge collection of HD videos too! So, you’ll be experiencing premium porn content without having to provide a single login detail, let alone reach for that poor wallet! 

This feature is pretty new. So, there are a few kinks to be worked out. Sometimes, when clicking on a video, you’ll be directed to the source site. You can just click off of the new tab and click the thumbnail again to avoid those pesky ad bombs. The same thing will also happen if you pause or unpause the video. So, unless you want your fap sessions interrupted by a hoard of Jasmine.com ads, you’d better be prepared to sit through the entire video! 

But you don’t wanna hear all that, do ya?! Haha! Don’t worry. I’m just getting into the good stuff! One of the videos that stood out to me on that site was titled “Best Doggystyle Squirting Orgasm Wet Pussy Fart”. What a hilarious title! I’m being pretty generous too… That shit was in all caps! I just had to see what it was! This amateur video featured a hot MILF with the most “FUCK ME” eyes you’ll ever see. 

The opening scene starts with “Amanda” coming to see her doctor about being a dick-addicted slut, and not knowing what to do about it. I mean, she took the effort to see her doctor about it, but it’s pretty clear that this was not an issue she wanted to be solved. She was eyeing that doctor like she wanted to swallow his cock right then and there! 

When the doctor asks if she could give an example of how she’s such a total slut, she talks about how she recently sucked and fucked her own fucking son! (Yeah! It went straight there!) The video then transitions to a scene of this depraved MILF… sucking and fucking her own son! And if sloppy pussy farts from an old whore gets you off, I don’t think you’re gonna make it to the end of that video! There’s so much queefing goodness; you could close your eyes and still see what’s happening! 

That’s just an example of how diverse the collection of fart videos on Alohatube.com is. If you’re looking for something a little more basic, there are plenty of “bitches farting down a guy’s throat” videos for you to enjoy! 

What I Liked

Alohatube.com still has some of the best collections of amateur content on the fucking web! This site pulls videos from places you wouldn’t even think to look! Even if you missed a gem on a Pornhub search, you’d find that video here! And you no longer have to go to the website to watch it! 

What I Didn’t Like

I found a bunch of unrelated videos while searching for “fart” porn. Out of the 7000+ videos, there was a hell of a lot that just had the word “fart” in the title. You’ll come across a bunch of videos titled “Old fart gets fucked by young girl”. 

In fact, despite having a list of categories that would put Pornhub to shame, there’s no actual category for “fart porn”. How the hell does that work? Fart porn isn’t THAT niche. Trust me. There are plenty of guys who enjoy fapping to flatulence. There should absolutely be a category for it! 

Tips From ThePornDude

The first thing I would suggest is adding a “fart” category. I was so surprised when I searched through categories only to find that there was nothing between “Fat” and “Feet”! You mean to tell me that you have categories for “fantasy” porn and “food” porn but none for “fart” porn? Since when was this a new thing? You’re much better than that!

Conclusion

Alohatube.com never disappoints with its collection of the naughtiest, nastiest content you can find online! If you’re looking for unique amateur videos of flatulence to fap to, you can hardly get any better than this! 

And with its new on-site video playback feature, you’ll be enjoying a premium experience without so much as providing an email! Just make sure you don’t leave your laptop unattended. Trust me… you don’t wanna be known as the “fart porn” guy. It never gets better! Have fun, you naughty freak!