SpankBang Fart

I just finished downing a bunch of beans and I can already feel the gasses working their way down. I’m ready to blow. I don’t even like beans. I’m just trying to get into the right mindset for this nonsense. If it isn’t already obvious, I’m not big on fart porn. In my opinion, the female anus is not made for release, it is made for receival … of my cock. That’s what all female holes are for, except the pee hole. I’m way too big for that shit. If I had a needle dick, I might just give it a shot. Bottom line, fart porn confuses me. Is it the smell? Is it the sound? Just exactly what part of this normal and yet gross bodily function do you people find arousing?

Whatever. I’m not supposed to judge. Suffice it to say that SpankBang has you covered for life, although I do have quite a bit to say about their sorting algorithm or lack thereof. SpankBang is a free porn tube that receives content from all kinds of sources, but they host the content themselves. As such I hold them responsible for the sorting of said content. If I’m here to see fart porn, then they better not be pulling a bait and switch on me. Show me the damn fart porn. I’m already here. Alas, there’s so much pollution across this section and I ain’t talking about the farts. There’s unrelated smut all-over the place. There’s also a lot of fart porn. What I’m trying to say is, this place is far from the best collection of fart porn on the web, but it still manages to be more than serviceable. If you’re this exact kind of pervert, you’re going to have a great time on SpankBang. I’m sure of it.

Swing and A Miss

The very first video I saw on SpankBang’s fart section was titled “Fucking an Old Fart”, as in, having sex with an older dude. The video had nothing to do with farts. The algorithm that sorts through this crap just thought it was relevant because of the usage of the word. This is not a smart way to sort through pornography. Imagine you wanted to avoid gay content so you looked up “no homo” but the site figured that since you used the word homo it should fetch every single video with the word homo in it. That would be the literal exact opposite of what you wanted. Seriously, these video sorting algorithms can be a real pain sometimes.

On top of that, the people who produce this smut are free to tag their videos wrongly on purpose in order to promote themselves. This is the downside to fapping on SpankBang. They don’t do much work by way of sorting. They’re more concerned with growing their library. The problem there is that the more videos you have, the less likely they are to make sense within context. The fapping experience on SpankBang has become a blind dive into mismatched porn clips. The fart porn section manages to narrow it down quite a bit, but not nearly as much as is necessary for this to be a singularly fart porn themed section. We need a clearer spread.

Types of Farts

I don’t know if farts are considered gendered. I know that only gay dudes swallow cum because cum is exclusively a very male product. I guess trans chicks can make cum too, but that’s a narrow exception. The general rule still applies. So, how do farts factor into all of this and how are they divided? Are male farts different from female farts? Does accidentally inhaling a dude’s fart on the subway make you gay? Is it gay to sniff your own farts? I have so many unanswered questions.

On SpankBang, across this here fart section, you can clearly see that female farts are certainly more popular. Whether you’re watching a straight video or a lesbian one, almost all of the farts are supplied by chicks. The dudes who are featured are mostly here to sniff the farts and get farted on. They’re playing it really submissive. I haven’t seen any video on here so far that has the man put in a position of dominance. This leads me to conclude that fart fetishism in men is strictly a submissive form of depravity. I didn’t have any opinions on the matter regardless, so this fits perfectly well with my world view. Let’s move on.

Hot Babes Getting Freaky

There are a ton of videos on here that showcase a lot of lesbian action. It appears to be the best kind of fart porn for straight men. I’m not surprised. It’s standard lesbian porn with extra steps. Also, for a genre that doesn’t require a lot of stripping, the girls tend to get naked more often than not. I very much appreciate this, considering that if they weren’t farting this would pretty much be my favorite kind of porn to fap to. I like it when bitches talk little, strip fast and bend over to showcase their holes. I’m like a pilot in that way – I’m just looking for my landing strip. Something about bitches spreading their ass cheeks open really feels like a warm invitation for me to touchdown and feel right at home. They’re fun when they spread their legs from the front, but nothing beats a pair of spread ass cheeks.

On SpankBang’s fart section, they always go one extra step after the spread – they fart, a lot. They pass extended farts that straight up don’t sound manmade. You can see they’re real, though, on account of how the asshole vibrates as the gas is passed. If they’re faking these videos then they’re doing a bang-up job. I don’t know, I get the sense that all of this shit is real and that just depresses me, to be honest. I’m guessing that for you this is all one big bonus.

Getting Disgusting

We’ve already established that men who love fart fetishism also enjoy smelling the farts. We don’t know why. We just accept it. Well, among these smut clips I also discovered another small element to this kind of depravity. Men also really enjoy being forced to smell the farts, in as large a concentration as possible. I’m not kidding; these girls straight up grab the men by the back of their heads and shove them into the asshole so that they can essentially inhale the farts all the way into their lungs, fully, without letting any part of the gas slip. At this point it kind of feels like they’re getting high on someone else’s fumes. Maybe that’s part of the appeal. I don’t know.

Bottom line, these girls are more than willing to oblige. Hell, some of them straight up intentionally eat near-toxic food so that their farts stink more than usual. Why? Isn’t it better if the farts don’t smell as bad? Doesn’t that make it so that you can last even longer? I’m guessing that this is an extremely masochistic fetish, because you have to hate yourself in order to inhale an entire buttload of egg feces gas. Oh, what’s that? This review is too gross for you? Fuck you, I had to review this shit.

A Decent Spread

Looking past the depravity of the fetish, I have to say, SpankBang have done a pretty damn fine job at collecting videos that will most certainly appeal to fart fetishists worldwide. I doubt that this place will fit female viewers very well, but the men are sure to have a good time. There are a couple of videos on here that even I found arousing, but for the most part this place is only really good for fart fetishists. And boy are they sure to have some fun.

You’ll get to see woman after woman passing gigantic amounts of gas and feeling damn proud of it. You’ve got a ton of solo videos that showcase the assholes as if they’re farting right in your face. Then, there’s a ton of videos in which men and women sniff the farts out of women’s assholes directly. These videos are great in case you need a surrogate inside the video through whom to immerse yourself into the action. I ain’t judging. It’s your boner.

It’s also worth noting that there’s an impressive variety of bitches on here, in terms of age, race, ethnicity and so on. I’m seeing JAV videos, American videos, European videos and even some Indian productions if I’m not mistaken. There’s even a wide spread across different time periods. I’m sure that some of these were made in the late 90s, whereas others just came out yesterday. All in all, this is a fantastic fart porn zone and you can see why SpankBang get so much respect online.