Assume The Position Studios

Who requires a booty beating? If you answered every dumb cunt on planet Earth, you guessed correctly. My readers will never be considered great test-takers, but I'm sure you passed that one with flying colors. Bitches have asses, and they deserve to be beaten. Who better than us to do it? Well, except for other bitches. That's my favorite also.

Asspiring Artist

The ass is like a canvas. It's an ample blank space waiting for someone to come along and turn it into art. The primary colors of paint are the pink of tender skin, the red of blood, and the blue of bruising. From those humble beginnings can come masterpieces worthy of sitting beside the ceiling at Sistine chappel or the statue of David.

When will the world recognize the beaten booty as a respected form of art? Will it ever happen? I understand that the ethereal nature of a broken behind means that the art doesn't last forever, but photographs can. One doesn't need to kill and mummify a bitch for years of display.

While many ass whoopings look like a Jackson Pollock painting, they don't have to. I've seen men of genius create landscapes, fruit bowls, and even portraits. All it takes is the right tools for the job. Any anus sculptor who knows what he is doing has a collection of hairbrushes, leather straps, whips, phone cords, belts, dusters, and crops to create all of the lines and angels he may need.

Art critics be damned. One day the butt cheeks will be internationally respected as a pure and honest artform. But until that day, men with constitutions such as you and I will be forced to stick to porn and our own creations.

However, you fucks aren't making your own booty art. You have no canvas to work with, and this isn't the type of thing you can pick up at your local Micheals arts and crafts store. You're better off searching strip clubs and the red light district.

While you might not be artists yourselves, you are fervent curators with an art collection to rival that of the Rothchilds. You've seen more ass art than ninety-five percent of the population. You fuckers are uniquely suited to be respected art critics once the booty makes its red carpet entrance into the MOMA.

As you already know full well, I have a mind loaded with art warehouses where you can find new videos and photos for your ever-growing collection. In today's segment, I bring you AssumeThePositionStudios.

Assume the position is usually a phrase you never want to hear. It means that your ass is getting either getting arrested or, if you're in America, shot by the police. That doesn't generally make for a good day. But, if you hear it in relation to spanking, rest assured that you're about to watch some Grade-A spank porn.

Born of Booty

Assume the Position Studios is the brainchild of Christy Cutie and Casey Calvert, who also star in much of the content. Along the road, they have brought Alex Reynolds and Maddy Marks into the fold of leadership roles as well. Of course, they, too, star in plenty of content here.

They aren't the only ones showing up in content on Assume the Position Studios. They run a whole stable of sexy sluts that love getting their bottoms reddened by the firm hands of an alpha male. Assume the Position Studios have a great mix of unknown amateurs working their way up the ranks and already established vets with a passionate following.

Some examples of other performers on the site are Kiki Cali, Lola Anderson, Stevie Rose, Chrissy Marie, Ashley Lane, Spanking Virgin, Lizzy McAllister, Sarah Gregory, and Willow. 

No, not that, Willow. Will Smith's daughter has not yet succumbed to a life of drugs that ends with her blowing Johnny Sins in a Texas Roadhouse employee bathroom. ..... Sorry, I had to make sure Mr. Smith wasn't going to break into my office and smack the unholy hell out of me for saying that.

The site has a jazzed-up tube look with a black, blue, and white background. I wonder if that was intentional. These bitches are getting their asses beaten black and blue, and I don't see a black slut for miles in either direction. Sorry to all my ebony fans out there. You'll have to find a different site. This place is like a 50s-era water fountain in Nebraska.

The main menu sits at the top and includes the options Home, Updates, Models, Log in, and Join. At the mention of joining, now is a good time to warn you that Assume the Position Studios is a paid premium website. You'll have to invest if you want to see Christy Cutie get her ass beaten inside out.

However, prices on Assume the Position Studios are far from prohibitive. Even my readers forced to live off the meager allowance their parents give them can still afford passage. A thirty-day membership will set you back 24.95, a 90-day $59.95, and a 180-day $99.95. 

It just so happens that I'm writing this review on a holiday weekend, which means heavy discounts. A thirty-day is currently $18.95, a sixty-day $39.95, and a half a year 59.95. Those are reoccurring prices, so you will be locked down on the holiday prices for perpetuity.

With that said, let us move on to checking out some of the stupendous content on Assume the Position Studios starting with "Roadside Slut - Personal Training Hard Spandex Strapping," starring Stevie Rose and "The Master." The Master being the mystery man delivering the beatings.

Stevie has promised her Master that she will start working out and caring for her body. To that end, she has been leaving the house every morning to hit the gym and have a healthy smoothie. 

Soon after "starting" her new routine, it comes to The Master's attention that Stevie has been lying. She isn't going to the gym. Instead, she goes to the cafe, drinks coffee, and eats pastries. What a stupid fat bitch. This deserves copious punishment.

Before Stevie can beg for mercy, The Master has his heavy strap in hand, ready to vigorously apply it to the booty. Stevie's skin-tight spandex shorts hold the burn of every smack against her tender ass flesh. It's the only way to properly punish spouting lies and trying to cover it up.

Education Smarts

"Sore Bare Bottom for Maddy Marks - Frat Paddling for Bad Grades" is an instant classic. Poor grades are one of the best excuses to unleash fury on a cunts ass cheeks. Education is essential to success, and bitches will never learn if they don't pay attention.

Maddy has fallen significantly behind in her classes, and it's time to get ahead of the situation before she starts failing her grade. This beating is going to require a bare bottom for maximum impact.

The Masters' frat paddle is large and mighty. It has many holes drilled in to maximize the speed it can travel in the air and the sting it can provide booty flesh. 

The Master bends his prey against a wall and applies her punishment with passion and purpose. With each swat, she cries out in pain. Every now and again, he pauses for a moment to give Maddie the chance to rub her aching bottom. This bitch will never get a bad grade again.

The bitches on this site don't understand the importance of a good education. "Spanking Teen Casey - Paddled Nude for Playing Hooky" is another fine example of this continuing issue.

The Master can't believe that this bitch keeps acting up. Will she ever learn that misbehavior is swiftly punished in this household? Is it ever worth the suffering? The Master sets out to make sure that it never is. 

After being stripped entirely nude, The Master bends Teen Casey over the back of a chair. He screams out, "Was it worth it?" before bringing the paddle down hard across both ass cheeks. The sound of the crack echoes along the walls for a second or two. He brings the paddle down once again as Teen Casey's face distorts with the pain. I'm sure this bitch will be attending all of her classes from now on. 

Assume the Position Studios is run by ladies who know exactly what a man wants in spanking porn. It's like these bitches crawled into a man's penis and discovered what makes it tick. I would like to formally invite Teen Casey and Stevie into my penis anytime they like.

Assume the Position Studios is a superb site, but they are missing one thing, pictures. I would love to see them add photo galleries. I want to stare deeply into a destroyed ass cheek.

You have no one to spank at home except your mom and dad. So unless you want things to get real weird at home, it would be best if you stuck to spank porn on Assume the Position Studios.