PornOne BDSM

Porn One! I wonder what the very first fetishes were. Did cavemen run around hunting antelopes, gathering berries, and shitting in each other’s mouths? I don’t know about you, but I definitely wouldn’t suck a bitch’s toes with all the barefoot running. I bet they had a lot of animal skins with all that hunting, though, so gimp suits are not out of the question.

I assume some guy named Dwarg accidentally stuck it in a bitch’s ass once, told all his friends it was awesome, and now thirty thousand years later, Riley Reid is gapping her asshole open for someone to spit in. If a butterfly flaps its wings in China..., you know how it goes.

When did the first blow job happen? That’s a bad bitch, right there. If we are going to tear down statues of tyrants and racists, we should replace them with symbolic statues saying thank you to the first blow job bitch. She was doing the Lord’s work in ways the Lord never could. Plus, if those statues were erected, I could point at them and tell my bitch, “If this dumb cavewoman can suck a dick, so can you.”

My readers have about the same intellect as a caveman, but we have access to so many more fetishes. We started from the bottom, and now we’re here. We went from missionary to doggy to asshole fisting. Now let’s take a look at how far we have come. To start things off, I have a fetish suggestion that might make my fans’ lives a bit easier.

Open your Whorizons

Agalmatophilia is an attraction to inanimate objects. And before you shun me away, think about it for a minute. Women would rather sit on a red ant hill than let you fuck them. On the other hand, inanimate objects can’t ever say no. They can’t say anything. You have complete control over the object of your desire.

Besides, you get to choose what objects give you a boner. It could be something human-like, like a mannequin in a department store. Or it could be more innocuous, such as a toaster or bookshelf. Perhaps choose a mixture of objects so you can maintain a boner throughout your day. The possibilities are endless, unlike with real women, where the opportunities stop before they start.

You would be surprised how many people have a fetish for the disabled, mentally or otherwise. Abasiophilics are into leg braces and other orthopedic assistance devices such as canes. Canes, I understand, as I do with any object small or thin enough to fit in a pussy or asshole. Braces, I’m less sure on.

But I can see how some of my readers would get into it. You guys have absolutely no control over women, and it frustrates the fuck out of you. A bitch with leg braces has fewer options. First off, fewer men are barking up her tree, so she has to select a partner from a smaller pool of candidates.

Second off, a bitch with leg braces can’t get away from you. When a regular bitch might take off into a light jog to get away from you, a leg brace bitch can’t do that. I will suggest that you be careful, though. If I were a leg brace bitch, I would carry around mace, tasers, and guns to deal with fucks like myself.

Oh, boy. You bastards are going to love this one. It would work in your favor whether the bitch has it or you do, and the definition is right in the name: hobophilia. Hobophilia is an attraction to homeless people. If the homeless aren’t a population you have thought about fucking, what are you doing with your life?

This is a vulnerable populous with nothing better going on in their lives to stop them from letting you stick your cock in them. They don’t give a shit that you live with your mom. They are just happy to have a place to stay for the night. Sure, they have to suck your dick, but they have sucked dick for worse things than a bed to lay their head on at night.

On the other side of things, if a bitch has hobophilia, she will love your whole swag. Suddenly the long balding hair, lack of job, lack of residence, and addiction to cheap transfats become positives. For so long, it’s been those things holding you back. Now they can be the things letting you blossom into the man you always knew you could be.

Please, take my advice, hit the streets, and find yourself some homeless, disabled, and possibly inanimate pussy. In the meantime, though, watch some BDSM fetish porn. If you’re watching fetish porn, make it something a woman would never do with you in real life. If a bitch won’t give you a hand job, she definitely won’t let you tie her up, and throat fuck her.

Pornone is one of my favorite spots to get my hands on extreme fetish porn. They have a collection that ranges from the sexy to the absurd. These guys have it if you’re looking for some strange content.

Pornone is a well-organized tube site hosting all manner of content, but it’s their BDSM shit that shines brightest. The main menu runs along with the header and includes the options Search bar, Upload, Login, Register, Straight, Gay, Shemale, Female, Home, Pornstars, Categories, Porn games, Live sex, Jav HD, a Day and night switch, and Playlists. Porn games, live sex, and JAV HD are all links to other sites.

There’s a massive category list down the left side that includes a duration filter and a category search bar. Content on the front page can be sorted by Newest, Selected, Views, Rating, Favorites, Comments, Votes, or longest. They can also be filtered by when they were released and video quality.

I want to dive right into some content, mostly because I’m currently looking at a video titled “The Passion of the Female Jesus.” In a hilarious twist, this video is posted by a guy with the username “PeaceAndLove1982.”

I have to say that I was highly disappointed by this “film.” As opposed to a video, it’s a series of photos with a storyline overlaid. There’s no beating, flaying, whipping, or crucifying. There’s no crown of thorns or stabbing of the side. I don’t even see the point of making this. It’s just a tease.

There’s plenty of Hucow content on Pornone. Hucow is a porn studio specializing in milking bitches with farm equipment, for those unaware. They use utter suckers to drain a bitch’s mammary glands of all their juices. It’s not for everyone, but if you like it, you love it.

Time Flys When You’re Having Fun

Only click on “Testing Asshole and Labia of my Sub” if you’re ready to see some shit. There are many things to test a pussy and asshole for, and this guy chooses to test the stretch. He does it by first hanging weights off this cunts labia. The weights appear to have been removed from a gravity clock.

Once the labia is properly hanging, the guy pulls out a girthy fucking dildo and starts going to pound town on her whale eye. I hope they paid this bitch handsomely. There’s no way her labia is returning to normal after today.

My fans of inanimate objects might be interested in this next video. The mechanism in “Machine BDSM Blowjob” doesn’t seem too complicated. Simply attach a bitch’s head to the helmet, and the machine uses an electric engine to move her head back and forth.

In this portrayal, it happens to be a living, breathing human with her head strapped in, but it could just as easily be a mannequin or any other non-living object.

Are there any plumbers reading this right now? That’s a trick question. I know that none of you motherfuckers have jobs. However, if any of you were plumbers, you would probably love “BDSM Rough Pussy Spreading with Gyno Tools Porn 1025.” While the title claims they are using gyno tools, I’m sure Gynos do not need a spigot.

My readers aren’t like other porn watchers. They want to see some weird-ass shit, and Pornone has plenty of it for you. The category list and detailed filters help guide weary travelers to the porn they need most. The titles are very descriptive, which is particularly helpful concerning BDSM porn. You never know what might happen in these videos.

Pornone is exceptionally well designed without being overly complicated. It makes me wonder how any site fucks up its design. Building a porn website isn’t fucking rocket science.

I do have a couple of improvements they could make, though. First off, can I get some actual Jesus content, please? I’m trying to wash my hands in lube like Pontius Pilate. Second, they should fix the broken links in the menu. “Porn games” take you to an internet abyss.

Pornone has everything my readers need to bust one of those nuts you regret immediately afterward.