XFreeHD BDSM

One of the most potent things about BDSM is its scope. It covers all the Fs: Fucking, Fighting, Fleeing, and Feeding. Those are all the things our DNA gives a shit about. Do you think genetics are impressed with your little crafts and hobbies? Fuck no. You can wallow in the depression of a pointless existence all you want: pending, you can still do the four Fs.

That’s why I always say there are no people that aren’t into BDSM. There are only people that haven’t tried it yet. You can find a million different flavors of BDSM, so just keep searching, and you will find the perfect version for you. The best way for a sexless guy like you to check the options is on sites like Xfreehd. I’ll break down a couple of genres you can expect to find on the site.

Even amongst my few readers that have regular sex, no one has ever gaped a bitch open. Gaping is when you pull out of a bitch, and her pussy or asshole naturally remains open. It’s generally a sign that you have fucked the unholy hell out of some poor cunt. Often gaping pussies get put to use as pen holders and water pitchers. The only cock around here large enough to hold a bitch’s orifices open is mine. The rest of you will have to do with porn.

My favorite thing to do with a gaping pussy is to retrofit it into a bong. All you need is some water, a pussy, and a shotgun bowl. I’ve never seen a bitch get high when her genitals are used as a smoking device, but they do love the bubbles. It’s like a self-filling hookah vibrator.

Gaping vaginas are often the result of a long and brutal gang bang. I’m not a big gang bang man myself, but many of you are. It’s too many penises for my liking. There are few things I want less in life than to be surrounded by men working through their vinegar strokes.

Cruising for Puss in the Panel Van

You perverted fucks will love kidnap porn. Why? Because you’re far from fucking saints, but you wouldn’t ever kidnap a slut. The problem is that kidnapping bitches is the only way you’ll ever get laid, but even kidnaped bitches are likely to develop super strength to escape their binding and flee from your cock. You’ll turn a bitch into an X-man before you turn a bitch out.

The closest you can get to fucking is watching abduction porn, and fortunately for you, there’s a ton of that shit. Sites like Xfreehd are pouring over with the stuff.

A lot of people hate furry porn, and why wouldn’t they? I certainly do. Sex doesn’t get much goofier than dressing up as porky the pig to fuck a herd of My Little Ponies. Regardless, there are still a ton of motherfuckers that live for Furrydom. However, I have a theory that might help to explain this behavior. My theory is that most of those mother fuckers don’t actually have a furry fetish.

Yes. Some do, for sure. It takes all kinds to spin this world, and plenty of those are true furries. But I bet a good portion are just ugly fuckers. All it takes is a trip to Walmart to be reminded that many people are ugly as fuck, and all those ugly people want to fuck just as bad as regular people do. So while your busted ass is sitting on the couch, jerking off, and feeling bad for yourself, there’s a whole contingent of unsightly bastards out there getting goat pussy every day. Now, who is the dumb one?

Once your mind is finished being blown, you should visit Xfreehd. Their collection of BDSM porn is spectacular. Xfreehd is a tube site that has been around for many years now. And during that time, they have always been one of the best to do it.

The main menu is up top and has the options Home, Trends, Videos, Photos, Categories, Community, A link to the most outstanding porn expert, a Search bar, a Day and night mode toggle, Upload, Sign up, Log in, RSS, and a Language selector.

Below the menu is a content filter to sort videos by type, when the content was added, and relevance. Relevance includes selections such as being watched, most recent, most viewed, most commented, top-rated, and top favorites.

There’s so much great content to check out on Xfreehd. Unfortunately, the events depicted in “Romanian Slut Pulling Chariot in Public” are events that will never happen to you. There may only be one or two universes in the entirety of the multiverse where you get a sexy bitch to drag you around in a chariot. Instead, you’re more likely to be struck by lightning, attacked by a shark, and injured in a plane crash simultaneously.

Before being hooked up to the chariot, this bitch is paraded down a public square by a leash. After gaining some attention, she strips down naked, takes up the chariot like a rickshaw, and gets marched around town. Despite the humiliating position she is in, she walks with flair, style, and confidence. I don’t look that proud walking anywhere.

Alina Lopez is a sex goddess in “Wonder Woman: The Harvest.” “The Harvest” is a foreboding title for any production, let alone a porno. Usually, Wonder Woman can defend herself against anything, but it turns out cock is her kryptonite.

When a plain-clothed Wonder Woman enters a bar to investigate a string of kidnappings, she’s attacked by the bartender. Little did he know that he was fucking with Wonder Woman. But, despite all her strength, she couldn’t resist the power of a stiff cock. If only she didn’t have such delicious tits, she might not be in this predicament.

It’s Raining Cunts

It’s a shame you guys never get invited to parties like the one in “Slaves Fucked and Cummed at Orgy Party.” They are indeed a sight to behold. I would compare the feeling to an intense religious experience. I feel like I’m at church when I attend an orgy party.

And BDSM orgy parties are my favorite kind. Especially when they feature chandelier sluts. Chandeliers are tied-up whores hung from hooks in the ceiling that you can stick your cock in at any time. Because they are hung up, you can move and twist them in any way you please.

If you’re too lazy to stand, there are bitches tied down to tables you can sit to fuck. These bitches are just as trapped, though, so they can never escape your advances. Those are the only kind of ladies my readers can fuck.

Rarely have I seen so many clothespins on a bitch than in “Busty Blonde Slave Boobs Clamped.” There’s literally no room left to fit anymore on her tits, and it’s not because they’re small. After running out of space on her chest, the male lead starts attaching them to her inner thighs.

Once he deems her fully clamped, this guy pulls out the Gatling gun of vibrators. Set designers took the time to hook five or six vibrators up together so that a bitch’s pussy could be turned into stew beef.

I’ll do a lot of fucked up shit to a bitch, but I draw a line eventually, which is crossed in “Nettles, Whips, and Anal Submission.” If you have never experienced a romp through a field of nettles, this title probably means nothing to you. However, if you have had the pleasure of dealing with the stuff, you know how disturbing a prospect bringing a branch into the bedroom is. The tiny needles in Nettles stay in the skin forever and combine the worst parts of itching and burning. This bitch will be pulling nettles out of her pussy for three days.

The list of things I would do before I let a bitch touch my dick with a nettle leaf is long and sordid. I would commit atrocities before I allowed that to happen. I’m not fucking Gandhi.

Xfreehd is a massive porn tube site that spent extra time ensuring its selection of BDSM porn is world-class. The experience will both horrify and excite you. You’ll never look at pointy plant life the same, and the next time you see a chandelier, you’ll try to fuck it. I sure hope it’s not at your brother’s wedding.

Xfreehd is the shit, but it could still be improved upon. It would be fantastic if they added tags to the content filter. That way, I could focus my search on specific topics such as handcuff blow jobs or nettle dildos. I thank them for not sullying the place with pop-ups and flashing ads.

If you want to see some shit that will invade your nightmares tonight, and I know you do, head over to Xfreehd now.