Streamate Bondage

How many total hours of porn do you estimate you have watched thus far in your life? If you watch porn for one hour a day, every day, with no days off, you’re looking at just over a fortnight of porn viewed a year. Multiply that by how many years you’ve been jerking, and you have a reliable starting point to guess how long you’re at it every year.

I spend way more time watching porn than one hour a day, though. It’s more like I spend one hour a day not watching porn, and I’ve still been trying to cut down on that off time. If I can purchase a waterproof TV to stick in my shower, I should be able to shave another fifteen minutes off my not jerking off time.

I’ve already cut my sleep down to five hours a day, I only eat items I can hold in one hand, and I have a neck brace that can hold my phone in front of my face while I perform everyday tasks such as brushing my teeth and cooking dinner.

Let me be clear. By cooking, I mean ordering delivery and microwaving leftovers. Cooking is tricky because it often involves the use of both my hands. I’m unwilling to sacrifice not touching my genitals, even if it’s just for a minute to whip up a stir fry.

Whenever I have to go outside, it’s a bad day. I’ve tried many different ways of masturbating in public without drawing attention to myself, but it’s a task easier said than done. That doesn’t mean I don’t do it anyway, though. I find that wearing a hefty trench coat and pretending to have lost an arm in Afghanistan helps a bunch. No one wants to call out a war vet.

I’m not a total animal. When I’m out masturbating around the public, I don’t watch porn. I mean, I don’t watch crazy porn. I stick to the plain old regular stuff. You know, shit like anal, Albanian midgets, and stoma fucking. I don’t want someone to catch me watching an Albanian midget getting Eiffel towered from anus to stoma if I’m busted. So I watch the three themes separately and combine them in my mind.

Sometimes I like to theme my porn around what I’m doing at the time. For example, the other day, I had to visit the zoo with my family. Fortunately, I brought my Google Glasses so I could ignore them and watch porn instead.

To keep with the animal theme, I watched some Ursusagalmatophiliac porn. It’s also known as teddy bear porn. Fucking teddy bears is popular amongst anime types for some reason. I think those assholes love fucking anything with unusually large eyes for their head.

Cream pieing Care Bears

Most teddy bear porn features hot bitches rubbing their cooter along its face. It must be a lot more fun to fuck a stuffed animal as a man than a woman. Wouldn’t the bear fur start to irritate the sensitive labia skin? Meanwhile, a guy can rip a hole in that bitch and jab his dong into the soft and squishy inner bits.

After passing the lion cage and watching them eat, I decided to change things up to Mysophilia. Mysophilia is an attraction to rotting meat. At first, this might sound completely disgusting but stick with me for a minute.

First off, imagine the convenience. Please picture that you’re leaving for work in the morning. You think to yourself, “let me pull some chicken breasts out of the freezer to cook for dinner.” As you pull out the breasts, your next thought is, “I should pull out an extra breast to leave in the baking sun so that I can stick my Jimmy Johnson inside of it when I get home.” Boom. Suddenly you have your whole day planned, and you haven’t even left the house yet.

After visiting the lion, we checked out the monkeys. We hadn’t been there long before the pack leader started throwing poop toward us. I immediately typed “Klismaphilia” into my search query and prepared to see some serious shit. Literally. Klismaphilia is an attraction to enemas.

Think of it like fucking a bitch in the ass with water. If you’re a fan of anal sex, you should get used to the enema. Having anal sex without doing an enema first is a risky prospect. You never know how much leftover poop may be crammed deep up there, and it’s best not to find out the hard way.

Plus, some bitches love that shit. It’s like being fucked by Poisiden or Storm from The X-men. Water becomes the shape of any container it’s in, so for a bitch, it’s like being fucked by the biggest dick they could ever fit into their asshole. Everybody wins.

Believe it or not, not only was I able to find some incredible enema porn, but I was able to watch it live thanks to Streamate. Streamate is a live streaming cam site that has an expansive selection of BDSM models ready to perform acts for you that you never thought possible.

Streamate is one of the more popular live-streaming sites. Because of this, they have attracted a large stable of sexy whores getting naked on the internet for your pleasure.

Finding bitches on Streamate is made easy by the detailed filters allowing you to sieve out precisely what you want to see. The filter is split into two sections. The top section has the options Region, Age, Features, Ethnicity, Fetishes, and Language, and the left section has the options Gender, Show type, Trending tags, and Category pages.

Streamate packs plenty of thumbnails on each page, but you can do so with the thumbnail selector in the right-hand corner if you want to limit the amount. Speaking of thumbnails, let’s look at what some of these sluts are up to.

FitnessGoddes is a twenty-two-year-old Spanish bitch with enough muscle to crush your cocks into pussies. Despite years of abusing your body with Taco Bell and Chipolte, this cunt could still lift you above her head.

If this bitch got a hold of your cock she could crush it in her hands like an empty aluminum can. There would be no hope for you. When streaming live for the public, she sticks to flexing and showing off her body, but she’s willing to do anything and everything once you get her into a private room.

Life is About Balance

Leismary might not be the most attractive bitch on Streamate, but that makes her one of the most willing. She claims to be thirty-four, but I’m one hundred and eight if she’s thirty-four. The only way this bitch is thirty-four is if she’s been smoking Marbs and working in a coal mine her whole life.

What she lacks in looks, though, she makes up for in craziness. This bitch will perform every act of sin and debauchery you can think of. I’m willing to bet there’s not a single object in her house she would not be willing to shove up her asshole. I wouldn’t be surprised if this bitch stuck a hairdryer up her twat and turned it on.

GoddessKimberly is one of my favorite characters on Streamate. If you are looking to be humiliated, this bitch has you covered. There’s nothing quite like being humiliated by a cunt with an English accent. She loves men with tiny cocks, or as she calls them, bitch pussies. If there’s anything my readers have, it’s small dicks.

This bitch lives the life twenty-four seven. The background of her stream is covered in all the tools of the trade. There are whips, boots, restraints, and dildos of every size and shape. I think this bitch wants nothing more than to break one of those dildos off in your ass.

If you think she’s a blast on the public stream, know that she’s even better in private. This bitch will make you cry, cum, and shit yourself simultaneously. I call it crumiting, and it’s a great time.

Streamate has been around for many moons and has used that time to build a fantastic reputation in the streaming community. Unfortunately, you won’t find many sites that equal it in quality. The design is sharp, the bitches hot, and the selection wide. While they have an extensive category list, it’s the BDSM section that I find the most compelling.

My primary complaint has less to do with the site and more with the performers. When you perform in the BDSM category of a live streaming site, you need to look the part. You can’t only say you’re into BDSM. You need to wear leathers, hold chains, and look ready for anything.

No matter what your “thing” is, you can find a bitch willing to do it on Streamate. If all else fails, find Leismary. She might be willing to kill a man if you ask.